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It's driving me nuts!!!

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  • July 5, 2013 at 3:47 pm #38030
    Hannah
    Participant

    Hi my name is Hannah.. I had a boyfriend for about 5 years between breakups and so.. Last year I could finally move on and sterted dating my courrent ex boyfriend (we last about a year together) . I had to break up with him because I started thinking about my Ex (the one of 5 years).. What happens now is that he have a girlfriend. His friends now that he’s not really in love with her, my friends nows that too, and there’s a big part of me that nows that he doesen’t really love her.. I talk with him every day without any intention to break his relation apart (the girlfriend doesn’t now of course). He told me HE LOVES ME. That im the love of his life and he doesnt want to play with me.. I now he really IS a good guy. I don’t know if im really IN LOVE with him but I know that I love him very much..

    My other problem is that I am scared to move on because of my fear of loosing him forever. Its driving me nuts!! Any advice? 🙁

    July 5, 2013 at 4:00 pm #38032
    Aruni
    Participant

    Hey

    To me it seems that maybe you should be the hero in this situation. Which means doing the right thing but not necessarily the easy thing. And I would suggest that means removing yourself from the whole situation for a bit and giving it space. I don’t mean not having any contact with him, just less. Give your ex space to be with his current girlfriend. He may say he loves you but he is currently with someone else. You need to respect that. I would suggest that you concentrate on some other part of your life that you are passionate about. A hobby, work, study etc.

    Give yourself and everybody else space and time to work out what they really want etc. To me that would be what the hero does in that situation. And I think it’ll make you feel good about yourself.

    Good luck 🙂

    July 5, 2013 at 8:26 pm #38040
    Hannah
    Participant

    Thanks Aruni! That really helped… It’s just that I feel sad too.. I know its hard but I will try my best to be the hero. One more thing, do you think its a good idea to maybe talk to him and tell him what I feel for him? Anyways in about three months I won’t see him for about THREE YEARS……… Maybe once a year.

    July 6, 2013 at 3:59 am #38050
    Aruni
    Participant

    Well it seems that none of you quite know exactly what you want. Nothing wrong with that. But for your own peace of mind you need to be honest with yourself. You have love for him but at the moment you don’t want to be with him. So of course you could tell him that you see him as a good friend. But doesn’t he know this already.

    He’s giving himself space from the situation by going away. This sounds like an excellent plan for him. This doesn’t mean you can’t remain friends.

    From my own experience one of my best friends is someone I was in a relationship with. The love between us remains, it just morphs into a different kind of love.

    July 6, 2013 at 7:51 am #38058
    Hannah
    Participant

    Thanks Aruni.. You really helped a lot. You’re right it’s my time to move on. And if I loose him, well maybe it wasn’t meant to be at all. I just hope I don’t. Thanks again, lots of love and peace for you!

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