Hi all 🙂 Sorry for the ramblings, I’m having a hard time organizing my thoughts.

I would consider myself a proactive person, I tackle issues head on and am very enthusiastic about trying new behaviors as well as being open to changing my perspective on things… I am open minded, passionate and flexible. For the first time in my adult life I am actually single (not interested in, seeing, dating or exclusive with anyone) & I am very much enjoying spending time with myself and I feel a sense of peace that I have never felt before however one fear continues to haunt me.

It has been my lifelong dream to create a family for myself since I lost my Mom at a very young age to drugs & alcohol. I have spent my life really working on myself (therapy, self help books & a lot of introspection) so that when I have a family of my own, I won’t project my issues onto my kids like my Mom did. While I enjoy being on my own (note that I am an only child & am very independent) I am having a very hard time dealing with the fear of not having this family that I so desperately want. My ex boyfriends were interested in having a family with me, but deep down I my intuition told me that it wasn’t the right decision so I would end the relationship.

The difficulty that I am experiencing now is letting go of the attachment I have of this dream of mine and leaving it up to the Universe to decide if it’s in the cards for me. Love isn’t something that you can control or make happen no matter how hard you work and it scares me very deeply to think that I may never meet the person that my intuition recognizes as the right partner. I have been proactive about dating in the past but since it wasn’t working out for me, I decided to try a new behavior and just be single for awhile to get to know myself even better and also become more emotionally autonomous.

I am very attached to this dream but since it’s not something that I can control it is causing me a lot of emotional distress. Any insight or feedback you may have is welcome. Light & love x