- This topic has 3 replies, 2 voices, and was last updated 5 years, 2 months ago by Anonymous.
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September 30, 2019 at 6:14 am #315119AnonymousInactive
Hey guys,
I’m going through a very confusing period in my life.
Since I was a teenager I’ve had the dream to become a singer. I felt that is was my real purpose, I became energized, filled with positivity and I’d be able to get into a state of flow while singing. I never pursued formal musical education besides singing lessons and sound engineering and chose to go to university and get a degree in design instead. I always loved to write lyrics and sing my own songs, and kept making music in parallel with my design job. However as you know ot gets hard to maintain a hobby or a side hustle. I get home after work and I feel drained, exhausted with no energy to sing. Recently, I’ve realized with much sadness and confusion that I no longer want to become a singer or an artist. I’m not exactly lost but I feel like my main purpose is gone. It’s overwhelming to lose your source of purpose and motivation after so many years believing that it was it.
I wish I still wanted it, I wish I still enjoyed it the same way, but I just don’t feel the need to prove anything to anyone.
Any similar experiences? Wise words for a confused soul?
September 30, 2019 at 7:54 am #315139AnonymousGuestDear Victoria:
Maybe you lost your dream of being a singer because of the latest happening in your parents’ lives. Only two months ago your father’s Borderline Personality Disorder behaviors got worse.
You wrote in later July that your mother has been “very unhappy for 30 years. She’s been wanting to get a divorce ever since but every time this subject came up, my father would react, as always, very dramatically” and she didn’t get that divorce. In a way she had a dream: to divorce your father.
Two months ago that dream came close to being materialized, but I am guessing she is still living with him, still unhappy and not even close to making her dream come true. Maybe you are so disappointed that.. once again, she gave in and did not do the courageous thing, and you therefore lost your own dream of being a singer. Can this be the case?
anita
September 30, 2019 at 8:22 am #315151AnonymousInactiveHello anita,
The two issues are completely not related. My parents lives are not affecting me at the moment. Thank you for your input but please don’t mix the subjects.
September 30, 2019 at 9:13 am #315177AnonymousGuestDear Victoria:
Not connecting the threads and issues (and if you want to look deeper into this issue of this thread with me):
You wrote regarding what your dream of being a singer did for you: “I became energized, filled with positivity and I’d be able to get into a state of flow while singing… I always loved to write lyrics and sing my own songs”.
But for a while, feeling drained and exhausted, you no longer want to sing, no longer enjoying it, “but I just don’t feel the need to prove anything to anyone”-
– Before, singing was about loving life, enjoying life, being in a state of flow. But at some point along the way, singing became something to prove to someone?
anita
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