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I've tried and failed to stop my jealousy

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  • August 31, 2017 at 4:19 pm #166436
    Anonymous
    Inactive

    I know it is insecure to be so jealous all the time but as much as I try I can’t help it.

    I’ve been with my girl for two years, but it is a long distance relationship and we only get to see each other once a year. I’m pretty sure the jealousy stems from my insecurity, but also I think I don’t trust her. I don’t know how to put my insecurity and doubt aside and trust her when I know that I can. It’s gotten to the point when if I feel jealous I just convince myself that I don’t care if she’s cheating because that’s the only way I can move on and stop obsessing.

    I never talk to anyone about my problems and this is the first time I have said any of this. I also have problems with that, this is even a fake name because I do not like talking about myself but that’s a whole nother story.

    September 1, 2017 at 1:49 am #166470
    Eliana
    Participant

    Hi Jesse,

    It is difficult, almost impossible for long distance relationships to work, and it makes it even harder when you only see that person once a year. I would try to find someone local and work on issues with jealousy, so you can have a happy, stable committed relationship.

    September 1, 2017 at 8:59 pm #166632
    Anonymous
    Inactive

    It has been two years with this girl and the relationship is going better than ever, the relationship, though it is long distance is not the problem. I’m the problem

    September 1, 2017 at 9:06 pm #166624
    Anonymous
    Inactive

    not an option

    September 1, 2017 at 9:06 pm #166628
    Anonymous
    Inactive

    Im jesse btw I just posted on the wrong account

    September 2, 2017 at 6:27 am #166672
    Eliana
    Participant

    Hi Jesse,

    I am a bit confused, because in your first post, you say you only see each other once a year. If you are jealous, there is a reason behind it, and it sounds like the relationship may not be as healthy as you think. It is very difficult to maintain a long term relationship. The problem is not you, but the distance. I would find some one local, or who lives closer to you, that you see on a regular basis, and that might solve the jealousy issue.

    September 2, 2017 at 6:58 am #166674
    Anonymous
    Inactive

    I really don’t think so, the only change that would happen that my jealousy wouldnt be numbed down by the fact that I’ve been with this girl for two years. She’s not the problem and neither is the distance, I just need to learn how to control my jealousy.

    September 2, 2017 at 9:05 am #166692
    Eliana
    Participant

    Hi Jesse,

    Still, I’m confused. In your original post, you state, you are insecure. The reason is because you don’t trust your girlfriend, thus leading to your jealousy issues. You then state distance is a factor. These are all correlated. Your first post sounds like you are dissatisfied with things because of your distrust of your girlfriend, leading to your jealousy. Your 2nd post States “things with the relationship couldn’t be better”

    What is it you need help with on here?

     

    September 4, 2017 at 6:04 pm #166928
    Anonymous
    Inactive

    The relationship is fine, she is not cheating, I can trust her and the distance is not the problem. It is not making the problem easier. The problem is that even though I know I can trust her, I can’t bring myself to do it. I don’t know what it is and it leads to jealousy.

    September 4, 2017 at 6:04 pm #166932
    Anonymous
    Inactive

    Thank you for still trying to help even through the confusion.

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