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Judgmental patner

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  • This topic has 3 replies, 4 voices, and was last updated 10 years ago by Tir.
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  • October 28, 2014 at 10:32 am #66918
    Rita
    Participant

    Hi,
    I’m trying to understand myself and need some advise..

    It REALLY bothers me when my husband criticizes any of our family member or any of our friend.

    I, in general, hardly criticizes anybody but I would like to understand why it bothers me so much when he acts too judgmental.

    Is it because I’m projecting my judgement on him? OR is it because i was being judged alot and it REALLY bothers if I hear someone else being judgmental?

    Anybody would like to give any insight on why we sometimes dislike someone’s behavior so much? If so, how to train so that it shouldn’t bother you so much..

    Thanks

    October 28, 2014 at 2:50 pm #66951
    Carlita
    Participant

    Rita,
    I can relate to you! I have same problem with my husband. I feel helpless here since judgmental pollutes the house where I long for a sacred and peaceful place. Feeling hurt here.

    October 28, 2014 at 3:24 pm #66955
    belove
    Participant

    Hi Rita,

    This is a tough one and hugs to you. I think people are critical are because they are hurt inside or are not happy with themselves in some way, with or without their awareness. They are projecting their inside. Show him love and kindness. It seems ironic, but give it a try. With no added fuel, a fire dies down naturally; love and kindness might just act like water. Also, try not to react to it (thinking he’s hurting should help with this.) When my little kid bothers his big sister, I advice her to show no interests. Sometimes, people do something because it brings out reactions in other. I’d say to try different things, and one of them, or might be their collective effort might just work out. Also, your peaceful energy itself has an influence in the collective energy in your family.

    “Sometimes the hardest people to love are the ones who need it the most.” Laura Wiess

    I also found this nice article:
    http://personalexcellence.co/blog/critical-people/

    Much love to you.

    October 28, 2014 at 3:26 pm #66956
    Tir
    Participant

    Any negativity is an impediment to peace. Can you speak to him to find out what his payoff is in doing this? Maybe he has some issues he needs understanding and compassion with. I would try to speak with him to find out why he needs to do this. If this is just his personality, you may have to distance yourself emotionally from his reflections and tune out his negativity. The other thing you can do is to ask him not to criticize around you as it messes with your chi.

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