So, I’ve been in this relationship about 5.5 years now. He’s 7 years older and this is my first serious relationship. We started dating when I was 18 and he was 25. I could already see he still had a lot of growing up to do so I felt safe enough with the age gap. He’d obviously been with a lot more people and had a few serious connections before me. I was always fine with it, until they kept coming up. We lived in a small town and it was inevitable. It got to be uncomfortable, talking about missing each other, meeting up, he looks so good, saving her bikini pics off Facebook, just really crossing the line of someone friendly from the past. He never understood why I felt so disrespected by these interactions. I spent his last birthday dry heaving in the bars parking lot while he chummed it up with another ex he ran into. We finally moved away from that small town and he’s miserable. he’s very very emotionally unavailable to me. He won’t show me affection, always hides in his videogames and i wish I was exaggerating but it’s all he’s willing to talk about too. It’s like prying teeth to get him to tell me what’s going on in his head and not his Xbox. Recently I broke down and sat him down because I feel close to giving up on this. I let him know how my needs for affection and emotional intimacy haven’t been met in a long time. He said he used to be so affectionate and caring in his past but by the time I came around he was burnt out. He used to massage them, take them out, spend quality time away from screens, write them poetry, take them lingerie shopping… I can’t even get him to help me with household shit, let alone any of that above and beyond level he devoted to them. This man has probably done 20 loads of laundry in the half decade we’ve been together, only worked a collective few months of odd jobs, doesn’t have a license or phone and no concept of work ethic and responsibilities. I have been supporting us this whole time, sacrificed staying with my family when they moved across the country to be with him, and so much more. I could take him being lazy even though it sucks, but to hear everything he used to do for these girls I have had to fight him to leave in the past, I hate myself. I feel so played. He says this is just how he is now. I don’t think I can live with that. Has anyone been through anything like this before? I do still love him but it’s turning bitter because I feel stupid for it. I’m too isolated in my life for any advice and I’m losing my mind. Am I jumping the gun on giving up? Anyone ever had a honey stuck on the past? I appreciate any insight.