March 21, 2020 at 11:50 pm #344552
I am posting this on behalf of my partner who is not a member of Tiny Buddha.
His grandmother, 95+ years of age, is in a critical condition. She has been a very simple but rigid and old-fashioned woman all her life with little literacy or personal growth. She has always been nice to my partner (her grandson) but only because he is a boy and has the potential to forward the family line. She barely knows my partner as a person. On the other hand, she has always been rude and emotionally abusive towards my partner’s mother and his sister, since they are both women and only vessels to bring more children into the world. In short, she has been a strong proponent of all age old gender stereotypes and idiocies.
Obviously my partner has never been warm towards her or had a good relationship with her given her views on women in the household. However, as her dying wish she wants to see my partner through a video-call (can’t fly thanks to COVID 19) and die in peace knowing her lineage will continue.
My partner is averse to the idea of having or enabling any karmic connection with his grandmother. He is in a dilemma trying to ascertain a morally neutral option – he does not want his grandmother’s soul to depart with a deep pining in her heart nor does he want to have any karmic connection with her.
FYI, my partner’s mother and sister (the real victims of his grandmother’s attitude) have long forgiven the grandmother but don’t harbor any deep sympathies for her.
Many thanks for your time and guidance in advance!March 22, 2020 at 8:44 am #344598
Welcome back! When you write that your partner doesn’t want “to have any karmic connection with her”, with his grandmother, I don’t understand what he means by “karmic connection”- as in a future life type thing, a rebirth context?
anitaMarch 22, 2020 at 11:09 am #344618
Thanks for your prompt reply ?
Yes, my partner is a Buddhist and believes in the concept of reincarnation. So karmic debt here would mean encounters with the grandmother in another life/time or universe.
Love and light,
SinglechildMarch 22, 2020 at 11:30 am #344624
I understand. I am not a Buddhist, don’t believe in reincarnation. Because he does, better he asks one or more Buddhist whom he respects if him accommodating his 95+ old grandmother’s last request may hurt him in future lives. If the Buddhist stand is that accommodating her will hurt him in one or more lives to come, he shouldn’t accommodate her wish.
I hope you and your partner are safer during these difficult times, as well as your father.
anitaMarch 24, 2020 at 3:05 am #344968
Thanks for your kind words and prompt responses as always 🙂
Yes look forward to getting a Buddhist’s perspective on the topic.
Hope you and your dear ones are safe and well during these challenging times.
Love and light,
SinglechildMarch 24, 2020 at 10:24 am #345082
You are welcome and thank you for your good wishes, I wish you the same. I hope to read more from you, whenever you want to post and share.