Dear beebop20:

You enjoy your job so much but you are bothered you don’t make as much money as other people, given your schooling investment and such. It makes more sense to some to work in a higher paying job they dislike than to work in a lower paying job they like. Looking only at the paycheck aspect and only at it, this does make sense. But let’s look at the bigger picture, still looking only at the monetary aspect:

a person in a distressing job, feeling trapped in it, is more likely to get sick and have accidents than a person in an enjoyable, non-distressing job. Getting sick, having accidents can be a very costly experience which will use up all that extra money made in the higher paying, distressing job. It would make monetary sense then, looking at this (very real) bigger picture, to choose the job you do have.

But then, you are distressed after all- comparing yourself to others making more money (the marketing, social convention of the importance of making more money so to spend more is a big part of this dynamic, isn’t it?)-

It doesn’t make financial sense for you to be distressed, does it?

Many people work their whole lives doing work they dislike so that one day they will retire and do what they like. Why not do what you like now? If you can cover basic expenses- why not?

As far as children: if in doubt, don’t, is my thinking.

anita

Dear beebop20:

It reads to me like your partner is kinder to himself, gentle, and that you are harsh with yourself, that you negatively criticize yourself regularly, is that so? That Inner Critic takes after our parent/s, the primary caretaker. I wonder if your partner’s parents were less critical of him and yours were significantly more critical of you?

anita

Like you, i struggled with this same thing. Im 26 years old and see my other friends around me “doing better” in terms of pay, but are they really doing better than me? The moment i changed my perspective about money, was the moment i realized that it is only a tool. It will only make what you are already doing better. The reason i wanted money was for selfish things. It made me realize that i needed to work on myself before i had the responsibility of handling more of it.

I did three things. I got real with exactly why it is that i desired money so bad. I used a strategy called 7-layers of fear where you essentially ask why 7 times to the answers you give the previous questions. (ex. why do you fear money? because of this.. Why because of this? because of that… etc..)

Second, i needed to evaluate my life. Was i actually doing well at work? Am i always fully present in the moment? Have I actively taken steps to control my anger? the answer to these questions were ones that i had been running from for a while. I lived through my excuses and blamed things on external factors. Things outside my circle of influence. I sought out the Power of Positive Thinking book by Norman Vincent Peale.

Third, all i really wanted was financial freedom. I wanted to be able to buy stuff and not ever have to worry about saying no to things so i can enjoy life better. Sounds familiar right? HOwever, my world shifted when i started looking into what it means to be a minimalist. I started treating everything in my life from a value-based perspective. Do i really need it? Does it bring me joy? In the end, i discovered my true self.

I pose to you three things to keep in mind in your journey.
1. Always be grateful – you could have it a lot worse. Practice it daily
2. The law of attraction – Look into and believe the law of attraction states. you attract everything you are focusing on. EVEN NEGATIVITY, DOUBT, ANGER
3. Love people and use things, because the opposite never works.

Regards,

Kyle Barichello