HomeForumsTough TimesLazy?

This topic contains 3 replies, has 4 voices, and was last updated by  Inky 11 months, 1 week ago.

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    I'm new to the forums, but i'm sure my problem isn't. I work, and have a very interesting job, great friends, and I feel very lucky in general. However, when I'm not working / socialising I can just spend hours in my flat doing nothing…no jobs, cleaning, and being very unproductive. However, that being said I feel very guilty on these days, (I'm having one today). This morning I didn't have to go to work, so I had breakfast did a few dishes, then I watched TV…feeling guilty I did a 45 minute workout…washed the floors…all the time thinking that I should be doing more, or that I will never manage to get everything done. I will often begin a job, and then move to another leaving the first half done…which i can ignore up to a point. I then showered, and am now sitting down. I know I need to get dressed and go out…I want to, but at the same time I don't. This is really rather distressing, and I'm not sure how to get out of the cycle. I feel i am judging myself harshly…does anyone know what I'm talking about??? Am I lazy?



    Dear Kindness,


    taking it easy sometimes does not make you lazy! And you could even be lazy doing nothing – it is ok to be lazy. There are no rules about life; life is not about performing but living and sometimes in life you can do a lot, sometimes less and sometimes just be and smell the roses (or not even that – breathing is enough.)


    You probably have people in your life, who make themselves very busy all the time. That is ok for them, if it makes them happy. There is no one in the position to tell you how you should live your life, it is up to you. For many variety of rhytmn has proved to be good; too much to do makes you stressed and tight (both mentally and physically) and too little may make you apathetich. Many of us were raised in families, where parents were busy all the time. If that is not the best option for you, you may feel guilty taking free time for yourself  (like you told), but there is nothing to feel guilty about! It is your life and your choices, which you need not “explain” to anyone! You are the expert about yourself and your life, not anybody else! 🙂

    • This reply was modified 11 months, 1 week ago by  Susannah.
    • This reply was modified 11 months, 1 week ago by  Susannah.


    Dear KINDNESS:

    I don't think it is you being lazy (not willing to work/ use energy).

    Here is a possibility of what may be a conversation going on in your brain this morning after you found out you don't have to go to work, and you are in your flat alone (I am making up a conversation between the child-part of you and the parent-part of you,  no way is it exact, of course, and maybe it is not even close, let me know, will you?):

    Child: Yea, I have a day off, I can do whatever I want!

    Parent: which is?

    Child: I can have breakfast and watch TV all day!

    Parent: you are lazy!

    Child: But it is my day off!

    Parent: Okay, do as you wish.

    (Child having breakfast, then watching TV)

    Parent: How long are you going to watch TV? Did you notice the dirt in your flat as you sit there like a well fed, lazy bum?

    Child: I am a well fed lazy bum. I shouldn't be sitting here doing nothing. All that food, I must be gaining weight as I sit doing nothing!

    Parent: That's right, get up from your lazy *(&& and burn some of that food you ate!

    (Child working out for 45 minutes)

    Parent: That's it? You are done? Did you notice how dirty the floor?

    (Child washing floor)

    Parent: and don't forget that dirt over here! And more dirt over there!

    Parent: Hurry up, you won't clean everything, there is a lot to do!

    (Child panicking, and moving from one unfinished task to starting a second, and third…)





    Dear KINDNESS,

    As one Lazy Person to another, I salute you!

    Now listen: When we die, there is no Gold Star we get in Heaven for being The Most Productive Person.

    You have a job and can pay for yourself to do as you wish. If there was something you HAD to do (i.e. go to an appointment), or something you WANTED to do (i.e. something you were passionate about), you would do it. As it is there is nothing you have to do or want to do, so you are “lazy”. Not what we THINK we “have” to do (clean) or “want” to do (save the world). Those we don't REALLY  do.

    Guess what? It's OK! (My Puritan ancestors are spinning like Rotisserie chickens right now).

    I give you permission to Netflix and Chill!


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