Hi,

It’s not easy to actually be your own person but it is inevitably a part of growing up. I am wondering though, what are you afraid of – things going wrong?

Sometimes I think I spent too many years worrying what other people thought and never quite appreciated myself. I always held back in showing my best side – I am not sure why I did that but the simple answer I have is lack of confidence in myself and the unwillingness to take on risk, facing disapproval. I won’t say I haven’t rebelled but I don’t think I have come out of caring what others think.

Finally i threw my hands up one day and thought “Come on, we all care of what others think to some extent” – I won’t deny that anymore but the key is to go on doing what we need to do for ourselves. I was deeply unhappy because I was trying to be out of the mould and yet fit in. Then over time, I thought, let’s take the middle way on this.

And another thing is to take each day at a time – sometimes we put this immense pressure on ourselves to grow personally that we forget the years it took to become that person in the first place – it’s a bit like massive weight loss goals- all fine for long term health but obsessing about it, going crazy in the lrocess when it’s not happening as per plan isnt worth it. I have often noticed how I go a little nuts when I start good habits, it’s almost as if I want to prove my mental mettle but in hindsight, this is a personal journey, not a PR campaign.

Loneliness, feeling uncomfortable are inevitable, just like the more pleasant, peaceful feelings that also come- every person on this planet has experienced the above in some time. People often get confused with the idea of being comfortable with being uncomfortable – they think it’s a passive idea – what is passive according to me is to whine about this rather than to have an active approach to finding companionship with oneself and also making newer connection along with acceptance that no matter how hard we try, some days it will be rough and we just gotta ride it out.

Sorry I went off on a tangent here, was sort of introspecting on things.

I think you are doing wonderfully bdw. This kind of growth takes time and patience. Would love to hear more from you soon.

Regards
Nina

PS – lot of typos – hard to type on phone.

Hi, grace
Hope this would help you
First of all decide exactly who you are and what you want , not thinking about anyone but just yourself.
You may not know it what you want but the more you think about your goals the more your subconscious works on them brining you fresh insights, innovative ideas and creative solutions.
the most powerful influence on your attitude and personality is what you say to yourself and what you believe.
And as you mentioned that you are capable of so much more . YES you are. You have more potential than you could think. To get the most out of it, you must become a leader. Leaders are made, not born. because it takes strength, character and a positive attitude to define whats most important to you and then take action to get it.
Your job is to find your “hearts desire”, and then take action to achieve it.When you do you ‘ll be astonished at how much ground you cover.
Just believe , believe , believe in yourself and have faith rest will follow.

Regards
Mishika