Just wanted to share an experience I had many years ago and how I feel about it today. This experience goes way back to my first year of school as a child. It was Christmas time and all the children and staff had gathered in the gymnasium for caroling. I sat there in anticipation for the music to start. When it started I felt a warm feeling inside, then when everyone began singing an incredible feeling of joy overcame me, I closed my eyes and began to sing louder. My hands raised and began to shake to the rythym and beat of the music, my head swung side to side. I had no control over this and must of looked silly to everyone else but it was a feeling of joy I would never forget. Later after the caroling in the gym, our teacher brought us back to our classroom and decided our class would have their own caroling session right then and there. Once again the music started and the children began to sing, and once again a feeling of joy came over me, I closed my eyes and sang louder, I raised my hands and began to shake them, my head swayed from side to side. Then it happened. The music stopped suddenly right in the middle of the song. I was confused and slowly opened my eyes. Standing in front of me was my teacher. “what do you think you are doing?” she asked. “do you realize how much of a fool you look like?”, she refused to let the class continue caroling until I promised in front of everyone that I would stop my silly behavior. I remember the look of contempt her face and remember how much it frightened me. I realize now that at that moment true joy was taken from me, my confidence had been shattered and I felt shame for the first time in my life. I struggled throughout my life with feelings of shame, and avoided joy because of the potential of being hurt and humiliated in front of other people again. What I come to realize is this: I do not blame my teacher for her comments, as someone before her must have made her feel the same way at some point in her life. That true joy exists, and can most often be seen through the eyes of a child. That sometimes the best way to get where you want to go, is to go back the way you came. I traced my feelings of shame to the moment they began, I have accepted that moment and forgiven.