I just want to say. I have been holding on and trying to hold a relationship, and I had put myself into suffering and emotional pain. For a year. I was so afraid of losing the person, that I tried to hold on and kept in communication with the person still fighting to bring it back together. The person did keep in communication with me as well. My pride and ego would not let me quit fighting for the relationship to work. Eventually I did the bravest thing last week. I put my trust in GOD and I jumped. I let go. The most amazing thing happened. After I jumped. A few days my parachute didn’t open, but eventually it did. I got peace of mind. All the time my intuition was telling me to jump, and let go but I was to afraid of losing the person, I rather suffer and go through months of emotional pain. I think she jumped a long while ago and was trying to support me all the way through and to let me know everything will be ok. Well, she helped me jump of course, I had no choice. She told me that the only way I am going to get through this is to stop talking to her. She said its time for me to be strong. she said she can identify with my pain. She apologized. And then cut all communication. Imagine its day 5 and I feel so at peace of mind. I can go the gym, I can focus on my work, I am content. God bless her soul for patience. I guess I got good karma. And now, i am actually starting to forgive and forget. Can you imagine that. After months of pain to peace, after just trusting and letting go. Looking back, I must be was under immense FEAR. FEAR distorted my reality. She did not cause me any pain, I cause myself pain, and I blamed her. I had to make a choice after the communication was cut, to end the pain and so the pain decreased and ceased. The choice was always mines but i believed I was powerless, because i felt like that at the time.

The only thing though. I need to forgive myself. I reacted for an entire year and the person i loved carried me through. Usually I carried her through her worries and problems. Just feels weird that the reverse happened. She reminded me of Myself when i used to carry her. That was so scary. I am happy it did but I just feel weird as a man. I never knew I could be so vulnerable and emotional to any woman. I exposed myself for her. I never felt so naked in my life. The good thing about me exposing myself, I saw some obsessive, compulsive and other dark habits that I need to work on. She helped me to shine light on the dark parts of my life. My fears and insecurities. I have already started working on them and becoming a better man. Its a transformation I am going through. She has began her transformation already, I know it. She is different.

Her action, of patience, kindness and support, is UNCONDITIONAL LOVE. Exactly what I gave to her in the relationship, I got it back seventy times seven. Thank you babes. I wish you the best.