Dear Lizzie888:

I think that I communicated with you not long ago yet your previous thread is not on record. Any idea why? Perhaps you had it deleted, I wonder. Please let me know what happened to that thread. I would like to review our previous communication. Otherwise, I hope other members will reply to you.

anita

Dear Lizzie888:

I suppose I was mistaken. Another member had a very similar username to yours, including the number. Welcome to the forum.

To summarize what you shared: your first relationship lasted three months, half of it long distance. You felt that you were unable to express and show your feelings toward him, hoping that he will know what you feel without you expressing it, especially when other people were present.

He initiated a breakup with you.  After the breakup his ex girlfriend visited him and he started a new relationship. He told you that his ex girlfriend visited him as a friend only and that the new woman in his life chased him.

A female friend of yours who lives where he lives told you first that he was getting close to another woman or plural, to other women. Later she told you that he was bad mouthing you.

You wrote: “I feel like it is all my mistake that he couldn’t stay in love with me”, mainly because you didn’t express your feelings for him. You feel that you weren’t enough, that you were “the bad person” and that “everyone who knows about our relationship is bad mouthing me”

My input: I am suspicious of your friend who tells you things about your ex boyfriend. I am suspecting she tells you things and she tells him things, pretending to be on your side and then on his, and in so doing, she is encouraging trouble. Better not share anything personal with her, not in a personal communication and not on social media.

Your ex boyfriend’s answer to a question or questions you asked him was that his new girlfriend chased him. What was it you asked him; did you ask him if he chased her?

anita

Dear Liz:

I think it is a good idea to ask questions, including asking him if he had a new girlfriend. Asking questions get you the information you need so to make informed choices.

You didn’t ask him if he chased her or she chased him. He gave you an answer to a question you didn’t ask. It is as if he was saying: yes, I have a girlfriend, but she chased me, so .. it is not my fault I have a girlfriend. Something like that. This suggests to me that he is not very honest, or straightforward. What does it matter who chased whom when the honest, straightforward answer to your question is: yes, I have a new girlfriend.

It is a good thing for our emotional well being to interact with people (family, friends, boyfriend) who are honest and straightforward with us.

anita

Dear Liz:

You are welcome.

Can you give an example or two of quotes you posted, such that embarrassed you, such that you are afraid you will post again?

I will try to answer your question, but need to understand better, and will wait for your answer.

anita

Dear Lizzie888:

Telling others how you feel is very uncomfortable for you, isn’t I? Telling a person directly that you are sad or disappointed, hurt or scared, so you post quotes and hope the person will understand. You wrote earlier that you hope people will understand how you feel without you telling them.

When you were a child, what happened when your feelings showed? Were you punished for feeling sad, for looking unhappy, hurt or angry?

anita

Dear Lizzie888:

In your original post you wrote, “Now I regret it, that I didn’t express and show my feelings toward him” – will you share here, in your next post, what those feelings were, that you had toward him?

“Now I regret it.. I didn’t do what I wanna do when there is a chance”- what is it that you wanted to do and didn’t?

anita