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Letting Go Of A Toxic Relationship

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  • October 1, 2017 at 4:39 pm #171183
    joseph
    Participant

    Letting go of any relationship is difficult. Letting go of a toxic relationship is even more difficult. One never expects to get into a toxic relationship, and when you realize that you’re in a toxic relationship, it usually catches you by surprise.

    The problem is, while we recognize a relationship as toxic, it is still quite difficult to convince ourselves to let go. One of the first things you need to remind yourself when you let go of a toxic relationship is that you are not weak for wanting to let go of the relationship. The signs of a toxic relationship can vary at times.

    Sometimes they’re clear cut: you might be experiencing emotional and physical abuse, lying, and cheating. However, there may be times when you might not be sure if you are in a toxic relationship, but you do find yourself feeling something off about your whole relationship. This might be characterized by feeling lonely, despite being in a relationship, a feeling of not wanting to see your partner, or the feeling of a lack of intimacy between the both of you.

    It is difficult to leave a relationship, even a toxic one, because of the fear that one might end up alone and unloved. However, once you have come to terms with the fact that you are in a toxic relationship, and have made the decision to leave, this gives you the strength to change your life with your own two hands for the better.

    Sometimes being selfish is exactly what you need out of your life, and there is absolutely nothing wrong with that. You cannot keep living with the mentality that if you love your partner enough, they will be willing to change for you. If they were really willing to change themselves, they would have done so a long time ago.

    If the relationship makes you feel bad, then it might be a bad relationship. Fight for your relationship if it’s still worth it, but if you find there’s no point, then allow yourself to let go. Sometimes our lives are not better by the people we keep in our lives, but by those we choose to let go to improve our lives.

    Have you ever been in a toxic relationship? What advice can you give about getting over it? Send me a message, or leave a comment below, and we’ll talk about it!

    October 1, 2017 at 9:47 pm #171211
    archum123
    Participant

    Such a coincidence that I read your post today, I have been feeling hopeless and over thinking so hard about my 11 year relationship with my husband.

    I do not know if I am right or wrong but surely this relationship has only got worse in years, I feel extremely lonely in USA  with no other family around as I am from Asia, living with my husband who shows no emotional or physical needs, shows care only rarely when he wants and does not have a real life himself other than work and spending time with my only daughter.

    I rely on him to share my life, motions, responsibilities of my daughter and few household chores. I do take charge and am capable of doing most of it. I am young, intelligent and full of life, but I feel like a fool when it comes to relations.I realized I do love him but I am left feeling lonely most of the time, months without any intimacy and days without any real conversation. I engage myself in the job and various activities. It only helps for some time but I miss having a bond and healthy married life with him.I feel incomplete.

    I have tried to talk every way possible, but he does not get it. He easily asks me to look for it outside or leave.

    I am so confused with this toxic relationship. I continue to live this way since I know no other way to live on my own. I think realizing you’re in such toxic relationships is the hardest part and letting go of it feels unreal. I do not want to make a bad decision. I know, what I am looking for in a relationship cannot be fulfilled by my husband.

    Now I have to gather the courage to distance him from my life, I fear to be lonely for all my life even more than I am facing right now.

    What advise would you give some one to make this decision?

     

    October 2, 2017 at 7:03 am #171239
    Eliana
    Participant

    Hi Archum123,

    You were alone and doing fine before you met him, and you will be alone and find if you leave him. Just because you will be alone for a while and maybe a little lonely, take this opportunity to do good things for yourself. Learn to love yourself. Develop some outside interests and hobbies. Men like women who are independent and happy. You can’t expect a man to “complete” you. Look for happiness within you, not with a man or being in a relationship. Work on some goals, take some classes, do something you have always wanted to do, but have never done. Go hiking, travel, enjoy life without a man. When this happens, you will find yourself growing and maturing. When men see you are happy and fulfilled the healthy ones will gravitate toward you.

    You found this man. But it is a toxic and very unhealthy relationship. It’s probably best to part ways. You don’t have to be “alone” forever. You deserve to be in a loving and healthy relationship with an emotionally available man who can love. First start by loving yourself, and good things will start to happen.

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