Dear smy:

I am glad you and your husband verbalize fairly well what you need from each other. Let me know, if you will, what you may possibly need from me here, or from another member reading.

anita

Dear smy:

Are you looking for guided meditations and the like? Suggestions to do yoga, exercise… some technique to relax? If so, there are plenty such suggestions and resources on the homepage of this website (Under “free resources” perhaps as well as in the many, many articles). Other members offer links to this or that, and that may be useful to you. If so, you can start a thread with a title like: “Looking for online meditation links” or something like that.

This, I believe, will calm you at times, very important. But “to release pent up angers and emotions” from your past long term, beyond the temporary, there is more to be done. Best in competent psychotherapy.

If you’d like to share what those “pent up angers and emotions” are, and what are your “negative ways”- I may be better able to understand the nature of your struggle and maybe- just maybe- suggest something useful.

anita

Dear smy:

The most damage done to an individual is done in the context of family. I see it again and again and I experienced it myself. A home to grow up in should be safe and loving, but often, it is neither. Healing from an unloving beginning, healing from mistreatment, neglect, abuse- it takes dedication, commitment to a long process, day in and day out. It takes a lot of patience with the process and gentleness with oneself. Did you ever attend psychotherapy for yourself?

anita

Dear smy:

What you described above was my experience with therapists, until my last in 2011 (at the age of 50)- he was the first who went beyond the 50 minutes or so, again and again, with no extra charge. Often long, long after- as long as he didn’t have another appointment. And then, he allowed and responded to phone calls and emails in between sessions, again, with no extra charge. Every session he gave me homework, often he would email me the homework some time after the session. On the next session, we would go over the homework. He was the first where I was on his mind in-between-sessions. He was hard working, very invested, gave me all the information he had, spared nothing. What an experience!

My first attempt at seeing a therapist at 20 was a disaster. Every one afterward, seems like they had me on their mind only when they saw me (maybe took some time after they saw me to figure out who I am, reviewing their notes..) and they were done at the end of the session.

I understand, I believe, your misgivings, absolutely. in the context of self- help, I am here to help you any way I can, having gone through the exceptional good therapy experience and having been dedicated since, on a daily basis, to the process of healing from significant childhood injuries and a lifetime of dysfunction. It is up to you to open up to me as much as you would like. I am not a professional but I believe I have a lot to offer simply for being as invested as I am in that healing process, being on The Healing Path, as I call it.

anita