From browsing through topics on this forum, I guess the topic I’m about to bring up isn’t all that unusual, but I’m still seeking feedback…I’m in my mid-30’s and don’t have a lot of close friends. I don’t have a group of good friends to go out with on the weekends or someone to confide in about the things that matter to me or things that are on my mind. This can be hard. When I was in a relationship for almost 5 and a half years, I confided a lot in my boyfriend at the time and he was my closest friend in a lot of ways. Now that we are broken up, things have changed between us and I can no longer confide in him like before, although we try to remain on friendly terms.

How did things get to be this way? I used to have a group of friends and close acquaintances that I would regularly socialize with and make plans to go out with. But gradually over the years as I’ve focused more and more on my career, getting a Master’s degree, personal growth, and living a life in accordance with my values, I’ve found that friendships have started to fade…I’ve faded out friends who I felt I no longer had that much in common with or whom I found I didn’t have much to talk about with anymore. I haven’t kept up on certain social engagements over the years. I just felt like people didn’t understand me anymore and my need to be genuine and “real” versus fake or superficial. So as a result, I’ve found myself alone more often than not, which is a difficult feeling if you want someone to confide in and/or someone to go out and socialize with and have fun with.

I still try to keep up with some friends in my life–people who I feel share at least some values close to my own or who I feel comfortable with. However, many people are busy with their own lives and other relationships and don’t always have time to meet up. Although I see some of these friends once every couple of months or so, I hardly consider that enough of a social life for me…I’ve joined Meetup groups and while I’ve had positive experiences, I feel somewhat embarrassed to keep attending events solo. Any advice or feedback? My lack of close friends and an active social life is really starting to depress me at times. I want to make more friends who stick around in my life, but I also want quality friends–people I get along with and see eye to eye with who are supportive and caring. When I’ve come across people like this in my life who I want to be closer friends with, the friendship seems hard to maintain, although I try…