Dear anita,
Thanks for your feedback, spouse, significant other, he’s both. I say unsteady because he sometimes work. He’s constantly in and out of jobs because he’s trying to figure out what exactly he wants to do career wise, so I guess I understand to an extent, but I sometimes wish he would hold something down longer or make a sacrifice by sticking with something for a while till he finds something better just so the pressure wouldn’t be on one person. But then I don’t want him to be doing something he dislikes in the long run, so I try to be supportive. I guess he’s comfortable being back by his parents, because it doesn’t seem to have motivated him any extra to find something that he likes and wants to do. And I think his parents looks at this as laziness. I ask how can I help because I don’t want them to think this of me as well since it’s been hard for me to find work also. So I try to help out with chores, but i feel like it’s not enough and feel I can be more of a help if I contributed financially as well, meaning if I could also help out with bills, rent food, I understand how important those things are. We are partners we do want the same things our own place to be independent. But in order to do that we have to save, and I feel help my inlaws as well, as it would be the respectful thing to do.

Waw anita another insightful reply thank you. I did sort of feel like she dislikes me helping out around the house but she never said it to me it was just based of her energy and mood when I would. She has said to me in the past she wished her son had picked someone different, because before in the past she said I don’t cook, clean or help out. I never felt comfortable doing those things because she was specific in wanting things done her way and I didn’t know how to get around that. So this time around I made it a priority to be better and do things differently. I now ask questions and make sure whatever I’m helping with its done the way she likes it. But some how even me doing this I feel makes her uncomfortable, and I trigger her into a bad mood. It’s never enough. She says do more. I guess I do have to work on gently mentioning to my partner about trying to stick with something, but I always get angry when it comes to speaking about it because I felt like he didn’t try hard enough, and my anger gets a hold of what I want to say. He spends his time not being proactive in seeking employment and always mentions to me that I need to hurry up and get a job. I’ve done this before and still he would not make an effort. I guess he looks at me as a “sugar moma” so to speak. But I’m done doing things the way I did, it didn’t get me anywhere.

No I’m stuck. But whenever things lighten up I will be sure to update. Thanks again Anita. I’m greatful to just have somewhere to come and get my thoughts out, its better than keeping it all in.