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Losing hope

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  • September 9, 2014 at 1:58 am #64618
    jdkm
    Participant

    Hi.

    I was here a few months ago after the break up of a significant relationship. I’m back because I don’t feel I have anyone to turn to and the members in these forums always managed to make things seem less gloomy.

    The mentioned break up broke me down when it happened in January – I have since come to be truly grateful for it happening since it got me to work on myself a lot – if anything could break me down so badly, it was clear I needed to work on myself.

    I currently live with my parents and in a few days I will be travelling abroad to study and live for a year in a different country. I am grateful for this opportunity and I know it’s the right decision. However, it feels like I have nothing to come back to. Many of my friends have moved abroad too, and the rest seem to not be a part of my life anymore.

    I had accepted that I’m going through a tough time, and that I needed to become a better person (more mindful, take things less for granted, be more appreciative etc.) – and I did start to believe that everything will slowly get better – if I worked on myself and stopped trying to control everything then things would work themselves out.

    At this point I feel like I’m losing hope. Things are not only not getting better, they seem to be getting worse. There’s a limit to how positively I can look at situations when it feels like I’m more alone every day. People around me keep saying how lucky I am and asking if I’m excited for the upcoming year – undoubtedly I am lucky to have such an opportunity – but no one can see how hard things are around all that – and it seems that no one can actually help. I’ve tried to reach out to people, but they simply leave.

    I am trying so hard to believe that things will work out if I keep working on myself – but since things are getting worse and worse, it’s really damn hard to keep believing this. It actually feels good to share this – so thank you for taking the time to read this if you did.

    JDKM

    September 9, 2014 at 4:24 am #64628
    Inky
    Participant

    In the old days, after a breakup, the well-to-do would send the teenager on a European Adventure to clear their head. They would come back with a new outlook on life and be ready for new beginnings!

    Instead of lamenting, do look forward to travelling abroad. And when you’re there, stay in the moment and appreciate every minute of it.

    It’s normal for your high school and college friends to be just that ~ left in high school and college. When you get home, you will make friends of all ages at your new job, in your new neighborhood, from the gym, at your place of worship. And remember Meet Up groups exist now! Make a list of all your interests and go on local Meet Ups. Then, when you are in a relationship, their friends become your friends.

    It will be OK.

    • This reply was modified 10 years, 1 month ago by Inky.
    September 9, 2014 at 10:57 am #64643
    Anup Dhirwan
    Participant

    I have been in a similar situation recently. And yes, just like you i was focusing on myself. It was hard to keep a positive mind when the memories keep knocking on the back door of head. Still, i tried hard to be positive and it worked many a times. Things were worse and I didn’t know what to do with my future as my vision about future was really blurry.

    I decided to take a trip to Russia. I always wanted to explore that country and off course it was a first foreign trip so it was supposed to be exciting affair. Again just like you, I was not feeling that much excited about that trip. It was my decision to make that trip happen and everyone from my family was excited except me. I really didnt plan what would I do there, the places to visit and what can i get our of this trip. Anyway i went ahead and traveled to Russia.

    It took me just few hours to get out of the fame optimism and feel the real positive attitude. It was a fascinating experience. I met great people. Had some great funny incidents and met many other girls. And most important, every moment I was developing the vision of my future. I made many good friends there so didn’t hesitate to include them in my future vision. I drew a completely different life what i have every imagined to live.

    So, focus on this trip. You are going to meet a very different culture and a life. Enjoy what you have and let it go what happened in the past.

    All The Best!

    September 13, 2014 at 12:37 am #64823
    jdkm
    Participant

    Thank you both for your replies. I just hate knowing that there’s barely anything/anyone to come back to. Your feedback has helped though – thank you for helping me believe it will be ok.

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