I’ve been struggling with increased distance between myself and a friend. We started off 2 years ago in a professional setting where schedules were such that I ended up being his client (instead of with the consultant who initially brought me into using the company’s services).

We got along great and had many fun conversations and shared our experiences on many topics. After several months, we began going out socially. We texted and messaged each other like crazy. I’ll admit I did develop a crush and the flirting was definitely mutual. One crazy night we finally hooked up. Just one time and we both agreed that it wasn’t going to lead to anything more than our existing friendship. Although, things cooled off significantly and we barely saw or texted each other. I admit, I needed the space to process what had happened but I knew that the “weirdness” would go away with time.

A few months ago, he starts dating someone seriously and is totally head over heels. He is too busy to even schedule appointments with me anymore (working 2 jobs). I feel somewhat rejected but I understand what it’s like to be in a new relationship, so I backed off and stopped communicating with him.

The other week, he contacted me and my current partner about meeting up for drinks and catching up. I was going to blow off the invite, but my partner wanted to go… so we went. It was so much fun and I was so happy to see my friend again. We met up again the following week — but this time, his new partner was with him.

Apparently, they were experiencing “trust” issues so my friend confessed (confided?) that we had hooked up once. Everything blew up. I started getting angry messages calling me all kinds of nasty names and accusing us of cheating with each other (not true). My friend got dumped. He is trying to win them back by proving that he has completely cut me out of his life. He told me that we can’t talk anymore and then proceeded to unfriend me from all of his social networks.

We have a lot of mutual friends and I don’t know who really knows what happened. It seems that nobody is talking to me anymore. I feel rejected. I feel betrayed. I feel angry. Why did he make the effort to re-connect with me only to throw me overboard for someone who doesn’t trust him and doesn’t believe that he never cheated?

I hate that these thoughts are consuming me and preventing me from appreciating the wonderful life that I have. I was ready to let him go before, I just hate it that I have to go through the grieving process all over again of losing someone that I cared so much about.