- This topic has 2 replies, 3 voices, and was last updated 8 years, 9 months ago by
silverfishbloom.
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March 9, 2016 at 10:08 am #98445
Konfused30ParticipantHello,
I know this is just another post, but while my situation is similar to some of these lost posts, everyone’s point of view is different.
I’m 30 years old, just broke up with my girlfriend of 4 years and am working at a job I dislike. To me, my friends, or lack thereof, are either so involved with themselves I rarely see them anymore. I am getting a bad case of being lonely, and so extremely confused. I walk through my day in a haze because I constantly am trying to come up with a direction or an idea or pathway I can take. My issue is I always concentrate on the hurdles ahead and by the time I’m done I’m so exhausted I can barely get out of bed. My whole day goes like this, over and over. I barely want to do anything because I am so overwhelmed with trying to get some clarity out of my life! I have a difficult time making friends, either I am not interested in the subject matter the people are talking about, or I find that subjects I bring up are uninteresting to them. It honestly feels like no matter what I do it doesn’t end up right. When I talk I babble because my mind is racing so fast with ideas or thoughts that pop into my head. I wish I could make it stop, because maybe then I can focus on making myself happy and things that make me happy.
For example: I watch travel shows and documentaries, and I dream of traveling the world and seeing other countries. But then I start to worry about “No one would go with me, I’ll spend the whole time by myself and I’ll feel so lonely I won’t want to go out and see anything. Or since I have a hard time talking to people I will chicken out and not do much while I’m out there.”
I also dislike my job, I hate working in a corporate setting and being a slave to someone’s time schedule and constraints, and would love a job where I have a flexible schedule and have freedom. But again, I’m not sure what jobs are out there like that or that I could get into with a Bachelor’s Degree in Business. I feel like everything I would want to do needs me to go back to school for years, and financially I cannot do that again, as I’ve already sunk myself with student loans. Maybe my thinking is wrong, but as hard as it is to believe, I cannot shake these doubts and negative thinking from my mind.I want to learn how to get myself out of this hole because I believe that if I can do it then I can push myself to do other things, but this thought process and thinking negative keeps me stuck here. Does anyone know of any good books or anything that has helped them in this same situation?
March 9, 2016 at 11:21 am #98453
AnonymousGuestDear Konfused30:
As I read your post I got the feel that you are, indeed, lost. When you look around, it is foggy. You cannot see anything but fog. You are lost and trying to find a way to get on. You are looking for a pathway, as you wrote, because you are not walking on one and you can’t see clearly what is around you, in front of you.
Without clarity, without a pathway, everything is indeed a hurdle… what is the point of going through difficulties if there is no pathway that you are walking on? It is like going in circles, spending energy for… just going in circles, going nowhere.
Am I correct in my description?
If I am, I would say, your goal would be indeed to get on the path. To find that pathway you are looking for.
The … funny thing is, the pathway is not “out there” in far away places you need to travel to. That pathway is not in a more advanced business degree or in the next romantic relationship.
The pathway is right where you are. This is so simple it is almost incredible, isn’t it?
What do you think so far?
anita
March 9, 2016 at 10:33 pm #98510
silverfishbloomParticipantHi Konfused30 ,
I thought I was reading a post of my own then ! I totally understand where you are coming from –
you are indeed depressed and dissatisfied but that’s ok as from this dissatisfaction and negative thoughts you are recognising your unhappiness and therefore you can bring changes to your life , you are in fact at a turning point to make new changes and from these changes your own happiness will come and you will embrace life again and people .
I can imagine that your cooperative job and the people around you there must be spiritually lacking so meanwhile ( and this helps me ) watch and listen to Buddhism links and nurture yourself with wisdom and if I was you have a goal now to save some money and go travelling , it sounds like you need to take a break to nurture yourself with new experiences and a even a change of scenery will help , I am lucky in the fact that I have my own flat and rent it out and have travelled a lot and alone over the years , the longest i travelled around was the middle east on my own for 8 weeks and there is always plenty to do with exploring new places and you are ” forced ” to talk to people whether it is in your accommodation or finding places but that’s great as you are pushing your boundaries , I would indeed push everything to one side , save some money and go even if it is for a short time just to test the water to see if you like it – even that achievement I’m sure would make you feel better and travelling gives you ideas and inspiration and time to think about what comes next as you are in a fresh environment.
I live in central London and work from home and same as you my friends work or are in relationships and I do get very lonely and very dazed with depressed days , I’m so low ! but I have come to terms with that we are all alone at the end of the day and to embrace it and enjoy being alone and with yourself is fine , it doesn’t mean you are a bad person , i’m sure the problem with our society especially the Tv we are shown so much freedom and glamour and people happy and in perfect situations which only highlights our dissatisfaction more but yes life can be very boring at times and not high glamour that we see on Tv – magazines etc… but that’s ok – I have been miserable here for a long time and deeply depressed and have been waiting for an answer or calling and I think to myself ” what makes me really happy ” and then I try and follow that through ,I realised the depression and unhappiness was just a calling for new changes so don’t be to alarmed ! so I am indeed slowly selling everything and going to live in Asia for a while – so yes no books I would set a goal , save some money and go travelling and don’t let your insecurities talk you out of it – life is to short so just go for it , take a break ! push your boundaries , get out of your comfort zone and you will indeed be pleasantly surprised ! -
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