I am going through a very similar situation, been consistency in and out of relationships since I was 14 and now I am 21 years old in the middle of yet another break-up. It has been 2-3 weeks since my ex and I were working things out/breaking up. Last week he came and got the rest of his things. It is obvious my ex still cares and probably wants to be with me. During this time I have contacting him telling him how sorry I was, throwing guilt trips on him, telling him not to give up on us, etc.

This article helped me a lot tonight. http://breakupadvicereviews.blogspot.com/2011/11/getting-your-boyfriend-back-guy.html?m=1

We must have NO contact, when i say no. No facebook messages/statuses about your ex, no e-mails, phone calls, text messages, nothing. Men want to be left alone and when we constantly contact them we are only making it that much worse and by contacting them we are digging ourselves in a deeper hole. Trust me it is difficult. I slipped up Monday. Someone told me about a 30 day No contact thing you can do. Basically i made a calender, marking off day by day to show progress.

I also started to keep a journal. So every time you feel the urge to contact him, Write down why? What made you think about contacting him. What is your motives? Write down what you want to say to him. Are you feeling lonely?

Another thing is if your ex decides to contact you before the 30 days, you need to write things down you are going to say. Also, try to make it through the 30 days. even if you have to ignore him at first, then tell him you need more time. If he wants to see you try to put it off until the last day, or in this case the earliest would be Valentines Day. You need to understand when you see him, you can not tell him how hurt you are, how much you missed him, how hard it has been without him, etc. That part can come later.

You need to take this time to heal yourself and set you some goals, improve your lifestyle, make dreams, and change the things that have been bothering you. I personally am going to see a social worker to talk with about me problems. I have so many from previous relationships, you need to work out all the baggage. So that if your ex comes back around or you decide to contact him after 30 days you are strong, happy, confident. He will be expecting the opposite but if you show him you are okay and it is going to make him really think. Anyways, I could talk about this all night but do the best you can. Remember do not contact him. Let him come all the way back to you, but at the same time do not let him come back too soon. Really take advantage of this time to heal and cope. That way if things end up working out with him you will be healthier and more emotionally stable and if they don’t you have learned several lessons and you’re next relationship will be much better. I am still working on this whole process myself and I have a long way to go. Best of luck to you and I hope my words help. I also have a personal blog, it may help if you create one yourself. Here is my link if you would like to check it out. http://conqueryouremotions.wordpress.com/

• This reply was modified 10 years, 10 months ago by Brandi Nicole.