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  • #365350
    Sonia234
    Participant

    Dear, readers

    so less then a day ago in other words last night me and my friends all of us are ages between 13-15 I’m 14 turning 15 soon and there were five of us  and we decided to do something really stupid and reckless which led to lots of consequences later. Basically when everyone came at around 6ish me and my friends wanted to try weed two of my friends arrived late and didn’t know about this until we told them. (Awhile back me and two of my other friends were just joking around and were saying how we want to at least try it once together.) Everyone was also sleeping over. My friend suggested on our group chat because she was smoking earlier and had some left over that she had got from her boyfriend and I was a bit on edge about it my other friend wanted to try it too but she was a bit on edge later on.

    When my other two friends came we left an hour after and met up with my friends boyfriend who is 18 and we all tried and took a few puffs and then went home quickly. The day before though we were all talking about how we wanted to try alcohol for the first time but it wasn’t decided and we didn’t think we were gonna go through with it. But before we left to smoke weed we quickly went and grabbed some tequila, coolers and rum and hid it in our bags. At 11:00 p.m. we started drinking it was all fine at worst but I was just getting really emotional and general so me and my one friend left the room and also went to go change my other friend came and chilled with us in the other room too.

    Then all of a sudden my other friend ran into the room we were in and told us our other friend wouldn’t stop puking. I was quite buzzed so my friends wouldn’t let me leave and go help her so i just avoided them and quickly went. When I came in my friend that was puking was covered in her throw up and was unconscious she had drank a bit of each liquor we had, I had drank the same amount as her. I tried flipping her on her side and she kept puking so at this point we went and got my mom and sister to help us. As i was helping my friend that was puking my dad came in and i started having hallucinations and a panic attack and freaking out everyone kept trying to calm me down but I couldn’t control it and kept crying and having meltdowns.

    I went into the bathroom later as I was still buzzed and tried hurting myself my friend walked in and turned super pale and my dad came and sister started freaking out but my injuries weren’t to severe. As they were trying to calm me down I passed out 4-5 times overall. Two of my friends parents arrived and helped too and we ended up calling the ambulance and they came. We ended up having to tell them about the weed and where we got it from and my friend started panicking balling her eyes out since it was her boyfriend who got it for us. my friend who was puking went home and my parents had to help her to the car and drive home.

    And we found out the weed and alcohol didn’t mix well and that’s why she got so sick she was unconscious the entire time and couldn’t even stand on her own. I had to go to the paramedics so they could examine my injuries and explained to them what happened. After my friend who has the boyfriend was still panicking and just worrying about her boyfriend and she went home too.

    My other two friends stayed since their parents were sleeping and we all just cried the entire night and in the morning. My mom explained to both of there parents that had happen. They were also super disappointed and angry which is no surprise.

    And now my mom and sister is saying that I have to keep my distance from the girl that was puking and the one with the boyfriend the other two are fine but I doubt there parents will ever trust me again or let us hangout:( And I know it sounds stupid but I don’t want to have to keep my distance and not be able to hang with them I know what happened was really horrible but we’re kids and are still learning, even though we should’ve known better.

    My mom thinks my two friends are a bad influence now and my other two friends are fine though since they were alert the entire night. I later then even texted each of the parents except one since I’m not close with her mom and apologized a lot. I feel so crappy and I’ve felt so so depressed all day and everyone else is somewhat ok but I’m not and I’ve been ignoring them all because honestly I dont even know what I’m supposed to say.

     

    I’m hurting so much because of this and its all my fault and my friend could’ve easily aspirated and pass away and it would’ve been all on me I don’t want to talk or see anyone for awhile because I don’t deserve to and I feel like absolute crap. I know everyone else will get over it but I don’t think I ever will be able too. I’m avoiding everyone right now and I am so so emotionally disturbed and just feel dead. I’ve been crying all day and I have no idea how I’m supposed to feel or even get through this. I’m supposed to go apologize in person but I don’t know what to say and still can’t process what the hell happened it feels like a nightmare I’m stuck and feel like crap and numb at the same time.

     

    I know this may not seem like the end of the world to other people but it is a huge deal for me and I don’t know how I’m supposed to keep going and get over this I feel sick to my stomach and it could’ve turned out so much worse. The worst part is I have most likely lost myself, my friends, mine and other parents trust all to our stupid decision that could’ve gotten us into way more trouble. I don’t know how to get through this or what to feel anymore. So please if anyone has any advice don’t be afraid to respond because I’m stuck and really need it right now.

     

    #365450
    anita
    Participant

    Dear Sonia234:

    You shared that you will be turning 15 soon. You and 4 of your friends got together, smoked weed and drank tequila, cooer and rum. You and one of the five friends, got very drunk,  she “was covered in her throw up and was unconscious.. I tried flipping her on her side and she kept puking”, you then called your mother and sister to help your friend, and your father came in as well, and then you “started having hallucinations and a panic attack and freaking out”. You went to the bathroom and tried hurting yourself, your father came in the bathroom, you hurt yourself some but not severely. You passed out 4-5 times. The parents of two of the friends arrived, an ambulance was called, etc., and everyone survived-

    – good thing, so glad to read that the five teenagers, you included, survived the ordeal.

    This is what I suggest: accept that you made a mistake, or more accurately, a series of mistakes that night and accept that those were not the first, nor will they be the last mistakes you ever make. But promise yourself that you will no longer make mistakes that will endanger your life and the lives of others.

    Your parents, and your friends’ parents also made mistakes, maybe even mistakes similar to yours, as getting drunk and high are.. not uncommon. This is indeed not the end of the world because you all survived.

    At this time, because you are so stressed, try not to think too much (we are lousy at thinking when stressed)- postpone thinking and problem solving. Try to relax and let yourself adjust to what happened.

    There is a prayer that people say that makes a lot of sense to me, and it may relax you (I am not religious, so it is not that kind of prayer). Here it is: “god, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; the courage to change the things I can; and the wisdom to know the difference”.

    Patiently and gently learn from your mistakes, don’t throw in the towel figuring the world is over: it is not over. And post again if you want to, let me know what you think about my reply.

    anita

    #365459
    Tika
    Participant

    Sonia234,

    I fully agree with Anita. I am not condoning underage drinking. However when my brother made the same kind of mistake his first year of college I gave him this advise in conjunction with Anita’s advice. I believe knowledge is power and the more you know the more you grow. Moving forward from this mistake you will have to revisit the event (in your mind) and identify all the mistakes that were made, learn from them and vow not to make the same mistakes in the future. A few things to remember for the future Never combine liquor and drugs, the two do not mix well and will make you sick (it’s actually how a lot of young people passageway). Also when drinking liquor responsibly (I am not condoning underage drinking) never mix colors of liquors (brown with brown, clear with clear) again the two do not mix well and cause drastic reactions. Also, drinking as much water as you drink liquor is always best and fatty foods.

    #365501
    Sonia234
    Participant

    thank you for the advice anita it was very very helpful,

    #365502
    Sonia234
    Participant

    i feel a bit better from the advice you two have given me tika and anita

    and i have vowed to not make this type of mistake ever again because the outcome could’ve been much worse thankfully it wasn’t but it still could have been

    I haven’t reached out much to two of my friends that were apart of the incident i’ve only talked with my friend who had the boyfriend and the one that kept puking i haven’t spoken much with the other two

    I’ve tried speaking with one but only received dry responses and havent talked since I am worried that i am going to lose my friends that were involved and they are very important to me

    I don’t know what to do or feel about that the whole situation overall i feel a bit less tense and worried about it and i’m slowly starting to move past while remembering my mistakes and learning my lesson

    #365528
    anita
    Participant

    Dear Sonia234:

    You are welcome.

    “I haven’t reached out much to two of my friends… I’ve tried speaking with one but only received dry responses”-

    – I suggest that you don’t reach out to any of the other individuals involved. It is all too fresh, for you and for them. Every participant in the event needs a break from the other four, so to let the dust settle, so to speak, to settle. Everyone needs time and space to put between themselves and the event, and that includes time and space from each other.

    anita

    #365571
    Anonymous
    Inactive

    This is a painful time for you. I imagine there is guilt and shame and sorrow at losing your friends and social support. Your mom thinks your friends are a bad influence and your friends parents very likely think you are the bad influence. Parents tend to want to blame the other kids!  I have never heard the advice about mixing colors of alcohol being the problem, rather I think you all had too much alcohol and got alcohol poisoning. So my advice is don’t drink. Period – because your brain is developing right now and alcohol and drugs on a developing brain can cause life long issues, including a tendency to addiction. The puking is the body’s way of trying to cleanse the poison out. Your passing out 4-5 times and hallucinating are other signs your body was not processing the drug and the alcohol well. Which scares me for you and I don’t even know you. Although no ones body will allow too much ingestion of these toxins. Drugs and alcohol are toxins. A little bit and maybe one feels good but keep going and one feels bad. Anyway, take this as simply a life lesson. Try to work through this and if you need counseling, please seek it. Consider starting a written journal where you hand write your feelings every evening. Learn to identify what you are thinking and feeling. It may seem trite but this too shall pass. Use it for good. All of us adults have had experiences growing up that were big life lessons. I wish you the best.

    #365582
    Sonia234
    Participant

    Dear Rose of Yellow:

    Thank you for this advice and taking the time to respond to my blog post it means a lot and you are most definitely right about not drinking because it can damage and cause long life long issues for me and to avoid that i’ll try and not make any more reckless decisions like this.

    #365583
    Sonia234
    Participant

    Dear anita:

    Yes you are right one of them has started reaching out to me again after giving them space and i’ve left the others alone for now just so everyone can have time to process what happened since it is still a fresh wound for us all.

    #365587
    anita
    Participant

    You are welcome, Sonia234, post again if and when you want to, and I will be glad to read and reply to you.

    anita

    #365632
    Tika
    Participant

    Rose of Yellow,

    You said “I have never heard the advice about mixing colors of alcohol being the problem, rather I think you all had too much alcohol and got alcohol poisoning.” I totally agree with you on the alcohol poisoning; it’s very easy to consume to much liquor to fast. Most people take a shot and when they don’t feel immediate effects take another and so on until they feel it’s effects; that’s usually when the alcohol poisoning has occurred. As for the mixing of dark and light liquors, it’s a popular belief that “The amount of alcohol in the blood rises more quickly after drinking liquor than after drinking beer. … Clear beverages like vodka, gin, and white wine contain less congeners than darker drinks like brandy, whisky, rum, and red wine. Mixing the congeners may increase stomach irritation.” It’s also a unwritten rule in the bar service industry not to mix dark and light or you’ll be cleaning all night.

    You brought up some very important medical advise and I’d like to thank you for adding that to the discussion.

    • This reply was modified 3 weeks, 2 days ago by Tika. Reason: typing error
    #365634
    Tika
    Participant

    Sonia234,

    I commend you on seeking advice on this matter and am so happy that you have three wise people coming from different perspectives to help you. I hope that our advise will help guide you down a healthier and more enlightened path, so you can better understand what happened and avoid it happening again.

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