April 14, 2017 at 11:58 pm #145179AnnieParticipant
<p>Hello,</p><p>Once again I turn to my TB family. I’ve been struggling quite a bit recently. My depression was getting worse as it is not being properly treated with medication and I was having some problems at work. Working for a micromanaging boss killed everything.I have ADD, which leads me to finally accept that I’ve been choosing the wrong jobs for myself. Although there were some small mistakes that I made, my boss did not have any patience for me to make mistakes and learn and fired me within a few weeks of starting work. I am lost once again, trying to find a new career path. Any advice? Thanks</p>April 15, 2017 at 9:43 am #145253anitaParticipant
I am sorry you were fired: it would have been better for you if your boss was patient and kind, if he changed your job responsibilities so to accommodate your limitations, if that worked for him/ her and for you (a Win-Win)- that would have been great!
Maybe you can use this time to go back to the history of your threads here, re-read, make notes, see what advice is relevant, see if you can learn something new…. and then post here again…?
anitaApril 16, 2017 at 6:52 am #145317AnnieParticipant
Thanks for replying. I feel like this world is full of people who will do anything to take you down if it could move them ahead. I am afraid of claiming my ADD on disability status because I may not even get hired in the first place.
I am thinking of going back to school so that maybe I can work independently at some point. I’m not sure, I will do what you suggested.
ThanksApril 16, 2017 at 9:53 am #145335anitaParticipant
The healthy way for people to interact with each other is the Win-Win way, win for both. Unfortunately, for many, it is the Win-Lose way. Many people think that for them to win (to move ahead, as you put it), they think it means for another to lose (to take you down, as you put it). In some business settings, it is true: for some to move ahead they do have to fight the competition. Overall, though, this practice leads to misery and dysfunction and that is why the world is… dysfunctional.
At the least, one can see to it that in personal relationship, the Win-Win practice is established. In a work environment, you do the best you can, seeing the reality in the workplace as it is. If it is the competitive Win-Lose environment, you prepare for it, you expect it. You don’t get disappointed each time because it is no longer a surprise.
I don’t know about disability- if it will hurt your future employment. I hope you find the correct source of information on that matter.
You are welcome. Post anytime.
anitaApril 16, 2017 at 10:24 am #145337pinchofattitudeParticipant
I got fired a few years back while dealing with depression and so I understood what you are going through. I had a bad boss who wasn’t only patience with me but took the time to put in negatives to my other superior about my performance which wasn’t true at all. Like Anita said, a lot of situations are “WIn-Lose”.
This was what I did:
– Took Self-Inventory, I asked these questions. What am I good at? What skills do I have that make me valuable to the job market? What are the fears that I allow to hold myself back?
– Appreciate the time off but never give up on searching for that dream job. I know that some people cannot afford to take time off but sometimes you need to give your mind rest in order to win the battle.
-Spent time with friends and family whom I have neglected (it was very hard since I didn’t want to get out but I’m glad I forced myself to do it)
– Looked for free/cheap online classes that I can take to improve what I need. I suggested to check out https://www.udemy.com/courses/ I still use it till today.
Looking back, I’m grateful that I got fired from the job because I wouldn’t be the person I am today. Right now you cannot see it but I’ll promise it will get better if you keep going.
Please keep posting and you can reach out to me if you’d like to discuss more. Hopefully, I help you in some way, but losing a job is not something easy to get over with.
Love.April 17, 2017 at 4:25 pm #145581growingthrulifeParticipant
Hey Annie, I’m really sorry to hear that you’ve lost your job. Micro-managers can be one of the most toxic aspects of the modern workplace – it’s also a reflection on their need to exert control (often this happens because they don’t experience any empowerment in their own roles). Please keep in mind though, you’re not a bad employee, you were in the wrong career/job (I wrote an article on this not long ago from the company’s perspective https://firstname.lastname@example.org/not-a-bad-employee-just-the-wrong-career-7e4354187f6f)
I think it’s a great opportunity to take stock of what’s going on in your life, and if the opportunity is there, to pursue your interests and your hobbies in the form of further study/self-improvement. Take it one day at a time, and speak to people to help you boost your self-esteem and recognise your strengths!