Dear Veronica:
In your earlier post yesterday you wrote that the day before yesterday you were “so stress, anxious and uneasy” that you went back to online dating “to make me feel good” and that “It was indeed make me feel good. To be admired and desired. It is like a sudden relief I feel”
And you wrote: “the attention I crave the most was my father’s. His acceptance. Can you help me address this? How to rewire?”
In the recent post you wrote that your current home, living with your mother and father, is, still, like it was before “very negative and toxic” and therefore you try to “be away from home as much as possible”. Your father still expresses his anger toward you, still reprimands you and both tell you still that it is all in your head.
“How to rewire?”- my answer: be away from home more, that is, don’t be at home at all. Move out and away. This will make a rewiring possible.
I don’t see how you can stop feeling distress and stop looking for a relief of that distress for as long as you are still living in a distressing situation, with distressing people.
anita