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Love Lost

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Viewing 6 posts - 1 through 6 (of 6 total)
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  • August 25, 2016 at 3:14 am #113234
    Kittycat100
    Participant

    Hello, I’m Kitty and new to this site. I’ve recently ended a relationship with a married man (yes I know, but please don’t judge me too harshly). I’m trying desperately to move on emotionally but I love him so much and I am wondering if this awful pain will every go away. At the moment he is still filling my head morning, noon and night. I’m normally a very decisive person and have been able to successfully move on from other relationships in the past, but this has just floored me. I keep thinking ‘what if this’ and ‘what if that’. I will still see him occasionally as we work for the same company, and I know these feelings will continue to haunt me if I don’t try harder to let them go. I feel so lonely and afraid.

    August 25, 2016 at 4:32 am #113236
    Inky
    Participant

    Hi kittycat100,

    A day will come in the future. You will see him from across a crowded room and he will look, well, how do I put this… gross. (TRUST ME.) Time, distance and the ravages of age will make you barely recognize him. And/or word will come to you of him having other affairs. Then you’ll be mad at yourself not only because of the moral failing, but also because he’s not attractive enough or awesome enough to warrant it even in a poorly written drug store romance novel. Like, you will be embarrassed to admit even to God that you had an affair with HIM. As in if you were GOING to have one affair with a married man in your lifetime, OMG, why did you waste it on HIM?

    And that’s how you get over it.

    Blessings,

    Inky

    August 25, 2016 at 6:14 am #113237
    verene farrell
    Participant

    Im going through the same thing my boyfriend of over 5 years has just left me he wont answer call or texts. Im screaming inside trying to hold a job down and 3 kids who hate seeing me upset. Sick of people telling me hes not worth it etc. Cant stop crying i feel like this will never pass. cant eat or sleep HELP

    August 25, 2016 at 7:53 am #113242
    Kittycat100
    Participant

    Thank you Inky and Farrell. I am realising that although I hurt dreadfully at the moment, there are an awful lot of people out there worse off than me. Farrell – I hope that you can find the strength to get through your awful predicament. You have your children to love. I have found much comfort already from this site, thank Heaven’s I found it. Blessings to all.

    August 25, 2016 at 8:34 am #113243
    Butterfly
    Participant

    Kittycat,

    I get it. I just ended a painful relationship as well. I never caught him cheating but I suspected it. I couldn’t eat nor sleep half the time wondering what he was doing, where he was etc. He said I had trust issues and I did because I was the other woman in previous relationships. It’s a terrible place to be in and b/c of this I PROMISED myself and GOD I would NEVER be the other woman again. Just think about how bad you are hurting NOW imagine HIS WIFE finding out about you? The woman he made a VOW before GOD to. Imagine how SHE would feel? Would you EVER really trust him if he left HER for YOU? (No… you wouldn’t most likely). And he would possibly do the same to you. YOU DESERVE better!! Your OWN man. YES it hurts but get on with YOUR life. Get out, travel, join the gym, a church, a club, take a class. ETC. There are SINGLE men everywhere. ACTIONS speak louder than words so if he REALLY wanted to be with you he would. BUT don’t stick around wasting your time and your life on someone who is aletaken. I am not sure if you are religious or spiritual but there is a quote that says “GOD will NEVER send you someone else husband!” And that is the truth. GOOD luck… HUGS!!!

    Butterfly

    August 25, 2016 at 10:48 am #113259
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear Kitty:

    Congratulations for ending the affair with the married man. And continuing to have that relationship in the past regardless of your emotional attachment to him.

    Emotional attachment is a strong emotion. I remember as a child when I was separated from my mother, on a visit to an aunt. I felt I couldn’t breathe without my mother. I felt sick. The aunt must have noticed my distress and sent me to my mother as soon as possible, a couple of hours away.

    It is the same emotional attachment, whether you feel it to a parent, a boyfriend, a pet. When they are gone from your life, it hurts. You long for that person.

    It is an emotion you can endure, and you will survive it. Understand its nature and relax into it the best you can. Post again anytime.

    anita

    * Dear farrel: Reads like you are in distress. If you’d like my/ others’ (other than the original poster of this thread) responses to you, please start your own thread: click FORUMS, choose a CATEGORY (relationships), click that, go down the page and type there. See you there.

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