Major confusion about 1 month break in the relationship

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This topic has 38 replies, 5 voices, and was last updated 6 years, 7 months ago by Michelle.

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May 16, 2018 at 3:50 am #207651

Anonymous
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Dear Simona:

His idea of being free in the context of a relationship with a woman is that the woman will feel good about anything and everything he chooses to do, is that so?

If it is so, do you think it is possible for him to ever be free in the context of a relationship?

anita

May 16, 2018 at 5:32 am #207677

Simona
Participant

It is and is not. He does agree that when you feel something is bothering you, you should say it to the other person, but he regrets not doing that with me – he said that he should have said when something was not ok with some situations between us and so on..but he did not verbalize it then. He is generally very introvert…although at a first glance he seems quite the opposite…he is good at giving this sort of advice to somebody else, but he does not apply it to him…

I asked him today if he thought about this week activity together..he said that on saturday he most likely will go help his dad with something and on sunday he will want some time for himself..so this week we won’t synchronize ourselves…but he will think of an activity…honestly, this is making me again waiting for him to come and propose to do something…

Tomorrow morning he will help move something to my appartment..i am thinking tonight to write him a letter to tell him everything i fell and to drop this idea of 1 activity once a week..something like a closure letter…it feel like this idea was very stupid…leaving me hanging to get a piece of him once/week…not fair…it makes me feel like a person who accepts bits and pieces….

May 16, 2018 at 5:37 am #207681

Simona
Participant

Do you think this letter is a good idea?

May 16, 2018 at 5:43 am #207687

Simona
Participant

Do you also have some tips on what exactly to emphasize more in my letter?:)

May 16, 2018 at 5:44 am #207689

Anonymous
Guest

Dear Simona:

Better not be “a person who accepts bits and pieces”, waiting “to get a piece of him once/week”. I would make this closure letter you are planning honest and short. You can share here what you want to communicate to him, if you would like.

anita

May 16, 2018 at 5:45 am #207691

Anonymous
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* didn’t reflect under Topics

May 17, 2018 at 12:16 am #207885

Simona
Participant

I gave up on the letter last night. I met this friend and I was telling her the whole story and while I was saying it and hearing myself talking, I felt like I’ve been so stupid so far…

Yesterday I talked to him because I needed to move a desk from my old office to my house and I needed a car for transport, we established we will meet this morning at 8:30 to move it, in front of his block. I sent him an sms, waited for 30 min, he did not show up. He called me 1 hour later, I did not pick up. I’m kinda done. I am so pissed on his lack of humanity and respect.

My best friend is the girlfriend of one of his best friends. She told me that the 3 of them met this Tuesday, talking random things (not about us) and the guy was very chill…

So yeah, this morning thing needed to happen so I can feel so nervous to cut him for good.

May 17, 2018 at 2:20 am #207895

Anonymous
Guest

Dear Simona:

Can’t get anywhere with a person who does not keep his word, who will not show up when he said he will. So better not travel on a road to nowhere, which is what the interactions with him amount to, is my thought.

anita

May 17, 2018 at 10:52 am #207961

Michelle
Participant

“I gave up on the letter last night. I met this friend and I was telling her the whole story and while I was saying it and hearing myself talking, I felt like I’ve been so stupid so far…”

I just wanted to say that this is SUCH an important realization to have. I feel like all of the events from this week (and most recent incident) should give you the motivation to walk away for good. Sometimes we become blinded by love and it makes us fail to see things how they really are. You’ve had an “a-ha” moment. Write it down. Do some journaling. And don’t forget the feelings you are having right now (so that you don’t fall back again).
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