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Making friends with a busy single mother

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  • October 20, 2015 at 2:13 pm #85733
    Neil
    Participant

    Hi, I need some advice as I am really new to making friends as an adult.

    I previously tried to ask a co-worker out on a date but was rejected but she said she wanted to be friends instead, it was very amicable, and after a few days thinking about whether or not I could get over my initial attraction I decided I thought I could and said to her I did want to be friends, she said to me that she leads a busy life and I accepted this.

    We have had coffee round her house on four occasions, she has a young kid and is generally very busy, its been hard to organise time to see each other as I knew it would, but we have shared a lot about ourselves which I wouldn’t normally do and I enjoy her company and I think she feels the same way about our new friendship, and I am over my initial attraction which im happy about.

    I am a bit stuck as to how to go about kindling the friendship because she is genuinely busy and I don’t want to be always asking her if she is free and annoy her, bare in mind it has been only me asking which does make me hesitate to ask in fear perhaps this isn’t something she wants but she has assured me that its not.

    I am thinking about asking her up front about if she would like to meet for coffee once a month and make it a regular thing, we would likely meet round hers so she doesn’t need a babysitter, and if she or I cant meet up that month then no worries.

    Is this a good idea, any tips and do friendships take hold when you don’t see each other that often?

    Thanks!

    October 20, 2015 at 2:25 pm #85734
    Inky
    Participant

    Hi snezza,

    She is probably giving you a soft “No”.

    AND she does have a kid, which at least makes the “No” plausible. Unless you have a kid as well, it’s difficult to interact with parents. It’s a little easier when they’re in school. And it’s somewhat easier when they’re older. BUT the older kids and teens are the real ones to keep a parent busy and mindful! Example: My sons are old enough to stay home alone. But do I go into the city for hours on end? NO WAY!!

    But setting a once a month coffee time? No, that it just “One more thing” a busy parent has to keep track of. It will become a burden unless she is genuinely interested in you. Have an open house Super Bowl party, kids welcome, everyone welcome, no pressure. It’s not a date, but that is what a friend would do.

    I know I’m a Debbie Downer, but my main advice is to date single people with no commitments (like kids).

    October 21, 2015 at 8:17 am #85769
    Neil
    Participant

    Thankyou for your candor Inky, its much appreciated 🙂

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