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Marriage with a turbulent family

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  • December 1, 2024 at 6:55 am #439844
    Halle
    Participant

    Hi I am married now ten years – cut to the chase but my husband doesn’t seem happy with me as a person and constantly ridicules my character. he makes me feel like something is wrong with me. we have fights where he bursts out in anger. mainly as he hasnt had his weed intake. but his sil visited recently and she was trying not to invite me out for a dinner but she wanted my daughter to come and kids. he got angry at me and said its because of YOU as a person. i constantly feel like im not good enough for him and his mum who disapproved of me from the start and didnt want the marriage to go ahead. she is disrespectful and rude to me on and off now and i try stay away from her. his sil is awful too but we try remain amicable. so my husband said to me everyone is trying to ditch you, as though i done something wrong or something – all i said earlier to my FIL was we coming and may eat dinner later so my sil just didnt want to have dinner with me for god knows what reason. my husband was invited to the gents dinner. bottom line, i cant put up with this anymore its taking a toll on me, i have a chronic condition as well and recently lost a baby in a pregnancy i couldnt continue so my emotions are high and my sensitivity levels high too. yeah it seems like people didnt want to me around me or hang with me and i felt sad and upset only 24h i went to a networking event and loads of people were keen to chat to me and someone who id just met called me a gem it felt amazing. is there something wrong with me? i doubt myself but i know that i am fine. of course i got mental health issues due to my health. but like my husband criticises me 24/7 he not happy with me as a person or my career, he doesnt like it when his family speak bad about me or say something like your not invited to me. i mean i know my sil and mil hurt i took their loved one away but this is going on for ten years now……..im fine if she says your not invited to me as i know she insecure about something…

    help i need advice on this as ive reached breaking point and looking to informally separate from my husband we only have 1 child.

    December 1, 2024 at 8:34 am #439849
    Halle
    Participant

    he is also saying all day and all the time that nobody likes me or my company….and it makes me sad and upset. he saying my sister dont like your company or my friends. i feel really sad and upset about this.

    December 1, 2024 at 9:26 am #439852
    Roberta
    Participant

    Dear Halle

    I am so sorry that you do not have a loving & supportive family(even when you have suffered from a miscarriage) & that their years of unappreciation has taken such a toll.

    At least you have friends & when new people meet you they recognize the good that is within you and that is a good starting point from which you can grow towards a happy & fulfilling life. I hope you find  safe & supportive place & people to help you thru your separation & beyond.

    Kind regards

    Roberta

    December 1, 2024 at 9:53 am #439853
    anita
    Participant

    Dear Halle:

    I’m really sorry to read about what you’re going through. It sounds incredibly tough and it’s understandable that you’re feeling sad and upset. Here are a few thoughts and pieces of advice that might help:

    Your feelings are completely valid. It’s natural to feel hurt and overwhelmed when faced with constant criticism and disrespect from those who should be supporting and uplifting you.

    Your emotional and physical well-being is crucial, especially given your chronic condition and the recent loss you’ve experienced. Prioritizing your health and finding ways to reduce stress are important steps.

    Consider seeking support from a therapist or counselor. A professional can provide a safe space for you to express your feelings and help you develop strategies for coping and healing.

    Setting boundaries is important. It’s okay to distance yourself from toxic relationships, even if they involve family members. Protecting your mental health should be a top priority.

    Remember that your worth is not defined by others’ opinions or treatment of you. The positive feedback you received at the networking event shows that others see your value and appreciate your company. Trust in your own intrinsic worth.

    Reach out to friends or support groups who can offer encouragement and understanding. Surrounding yourself with positive influences can make a significant difference.

    If you’re considering separation, it’s important to think about what’s best for you and your child. A separation might provide you the space to heal and reflect on what you need moving forward.

    Thank you for sharing your story and reaching out for advice. You deserve to be treated with kindness and respect. Take care of yourself, and remember that you are not alone.

    anita

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