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Meaningful Relationships

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  • September 22, 2015 at 9:24 am #83842
    Nadia
    Participant

    A bit about me:
    I’m 29, married at 22, divorced at 27. I recently ended a 6 month on/off relationship. Grew up in a Christian home and although I no longer consider myself from one specific religion, I do consider myself spiritual. I’ve always been in the path of spiritual and emotional growth.

    Through my relationships I have grown and learned so much of who I am and what I want. But now that I’m taking some time for myself a lot of questions and thoughts have come up. I’m sure I’m not the only one with them and would love to discuss with others in this forum.

    For those in the path of self-growth:

    *How hard is it to meet potential dates with similar interests (spirituality, mindfulness, self-growth)?
    (I’ve had a hard time finding things to talk about, I feel I’m wasting my time if I don’t feel I’m growing in some way with this person. The few times I have connected with someone on a spiritual level it has been with people much older than me).

    * Is it hard to follow your intuition in relationships? for example having that gut feeling where the relationship is not right but staying because “it is good enough” or out of fear of not finding anything better, only to later have your initial feelings confirmed?

    * What are important qualities I should not compromise on in order to find a meaningful relationship? My ultimate goal is not to find someone to marry, although that would be wonderful. What I want is a meaningful relationship even if it only last a few months, where I feel we have contribute in some way to each others growth.

    Hope this wasn’t too confusing, thanks in advance for your comments <3

    September 22, 2015 at 10:56 am #83845
    Jodi
    Participant

    I didn’t find it hard to find people with spiritual interests. When I moved to my current city (Charleston SC ) I went on meetup.com and found several groups geared towards spiritual interests. This might be an option for you if you are looking to meet more like minded people.

    Following your intuition is like meditation, it’s a practice. You’ll get better at it the more your practice and get in tune with your own “gut”.

    You’ll have to determine for yourself what qualities are deal breakers and absolutes for you. My advice would be to be very openminded about your beliefs and those of others. As you get to know more people and date more, you’ll learn what feels right for you. For example, I am quite spiritual (not religious) and my partner is atheist, but he follows buddhist teachings very similar to my own beliefs. Even though we technically don’t matchup with our beliefs, it works because we live our lives according to the same values.

    Hope this helps!
    ~Jodi

    September 22, 2015 at 1:30 pm #83856
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear nacm86:

    As to your question: “What are important qualities I should not compromise on in order to find a meaningful relationship?” I would say: honest, ongoing communication and execution of a Win-Win interactions. And also, minimize the bull****: examine, evaluate, re-evaluate, learn, learn, learn.

    anita

    September 23, 2015 at 12:32 pm #83939
    Nadia
    Participant

    Thank you Jodi and Anita, your comments helped me see things in a different perspective.

    September 23, 2015 at 8:48 pm #83989
    Pearl
    Participant

    Hello nacm86, I am happy to hear about your self exploration journey – I have been in the same situation for last couple of years and I had 2 long term serious relationships where I realized I was attracting the same type of guys and my relationship patterns were also similar – they both lasted for about 2 years or more and finally I was shaken from a dream state. I had to think about what I was doing and what I was looking for 🙂

    In my experience, before we start looking for a soulmate – its important to connect with your own soul. We have to love and nurture ourselves first and become fearless and content and strong that we are good enough for ourselves 🙂 Once you reach to that level where you are thriving in your life – you are smiling from your lungs – right kind of people will start coming into your life – once you raise the vibrations of your own life state ( I am sure you understand what I mean! since you are a spiritual person too!!) It has helped me a lot and now I see, how much I have transformed and how much my relationships have changed! In my experience, when we don’t look for it – that’s when it shows up and I took myself on dates plenty of times in last 6 months – for a movie and for dinners or even for beach walks 🙂 ! I know it sounds crazy but that’s when you know how you want to be treated in your relationships! I didn’t date ME 🙂 and now all I attract is good people who also want to contribute and uplift me 🙂 Before it wasn’t there cause I guess my belief was wrong somewhere that I have to give a lot of love or prove certain things in certain ways in a relationship to receive love from the other person….we all know it but the root cause might be something different – check your vibration and check where your relationship with yourself is and take it from there!

    Hope this helps 🙂

    September 24, 2015 at 8:51 am #84008
    Nadia
    Participant

    Thank you so much Pearl for your comment, wow, your words ring so true. Even when I was in this past relationship I had a feeling it wasn’t right and that I still had some work to do and like we know all the people in our lives are teachers and I believe this person made me see this. I’ve been thinking about my relationships and I realize that even though I think I love who I am and am happy with who I am there is still part of me that seeks validalition through relationships, and when things don’t work out I take it personally and question my worth.
    I’m staying away from dating sites now and trying to focus in working on this issues of self-worth and validation.

    Much love <3

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