I started googling my problem when I found this website, and decided to personally explain my situation in an attempt to get real feedback for my problem.

I’ll start by explaining that I’m 27 years old and in a wonderful relationship with my boyfriend who is also 27.

My problem is that when he’s away from his phone for an extended period, or his phone dies, I begin to spiral into anxiety. Worrying over whether he’s gotten hurt or died in a car accident, or if he’s somewhere he shouldn’t be, like cheating. I’ve had this problem throughout every relationship I’ve had, but I’m at the point now where I’m 27 and in a very mature relationship with a responsible man, and this problem is embarrassing and immature of me. But I just can’t seem to help it. I can stuff it away and choke on it, but sometimes it comes outwards anyways. And even when I don’t display my concern, it can be so crippling that all I’m able to do is stare at my phone until I get relief.

If he’s at work and not responding to me for hours on end, I have almost no problem with that. I’ll text him hours later and say something like “hope everything is going well” and I don’t worry much. However, if he stops responding to me during times where he’s home, or has been driving somewhere, I can go into full on panic mode if I feel like I should have heard from him. I’ll throw him a text warranting a response and sit and wait. It usually resolves quickly without me showing how worried I was, but there are times when I start texting “worried about you.”.. “okay now I’m really worried about you.” … “been a long time since I’ve heard from you please get back to me as soon as you get this”. And then he’ll finally text back cause he was either caught up in something or his phone died, and I’ll just explain that I was worried and I’m glad he’s okay. Even these times when it’s minor, it’s still not normal behavior right?

Then there are times, like last night, when it can get excessive and extremely uncomfortable for me. I ended up being really angry with him and he was upset with me about that.

I was supposed to be sleeping from 4pm-11pm before my night shift, so he went to his brother in law’s to help with his car. I ended up waking up at 9pm and texted him a dream I had. He didn’t respond, so an hour later I sent him the “worried about you” text. Then an hour after that I started sending the “I’m so upset” texts, as I laid in bed in panic thinking of all the bad things that could have happened or could be happening. Within the next hour I called and realized his phone was off and worried even more about something happening to him, and began to get extremely angry with him since it was probably just a case of his phone being dead. I was switching back and forth between extreme worry and extreme anger. He finally called me at 12pm, apologizing for his phone being dead and said that he wasn’t really concerned with finding a way to get his phone charged while he was out, or to have someone text me because he figured I was sleeping. But I was still fuming and so upset about it. I felt so angry he would do that to me. To cause me to worry, and throw me into an uncomfortable panic. Even though that’s almost all my own fault. I’m noticing this is a pattern I’ve always been through. I’m not sure if it’s from a past terrible relationship, or if it’s immaturity, or anxiety which I do have, but I would really like some insight and advice on how I could cope with this and fix it. I’m very uncomfortable, and I’m making him very uncomfortable too. Personal opinions and stories are all welcome. Thank you everyone in advance.