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December 17, 2018 at 3:35 pm #269731DrewParticipant
Hello there,
To whomever stumbled across this, I thank you for being willing to hear me out and share your kind thoughts and suggestions. I have been a frequent user of this site for many years and decided to finally post. I am about to hit the big “25” in a few months and recently graduated from college. I still have absolutely zero idea what I want to do career wise and cannot necessarily afford to “go find myself” due to those treacherous student loans. I cringe every time I hear that word. I wake up daily and cannot forgive myself for being naive and taking the traditional “safe” route life tells most kids in my generation to go, especially parents. To the parents out there who may be reading this, this is not directed at you by any means, but I just wish I had more guidance from mine on following what made me “happy” instead of what would make them. Now as a result of going, I have to essentially put my life on hold for many years to pay my dues. To be totally honest, all that college did for me was make me more stressed out because I still have no direction. I kind of just “landed” into what I majored in and am not sure if that is where I want to take my life. I don’t want to be too hard on myself for not knowing and accepting that it is okay and to let life figure itself out, which I have a difficult time with because I am very impatient. I worked my tail off to get that degree and took some demanding classes that required a lot of hard work that I am proud of accomplishing though.
I am currently looking for employment in the field I graduated in to give it a chance for a few years to see if there is some potential, and then maybe take a different direction. It’s worth a shot, right? I am looking for my first entry level position at the moment and not hearing back for what has been MONTHS now has been hard on me mentally too. I have aspirations of moving out of state again, which I did over the summer to finish up my schooling. I had to return home because I was doing an unpaid internship, which I dipped into my savings quite heavily for. Don’t get me wrong, that internship was one of the best things that ever happened to me and felt at my happiest moments so spending the money was well worth it because that was my first big break from out of my childhood home and area growing up. I got the taste of finally being on my own and having to move back home temporarily till I find that position out of state was a major disappointment. All being back here has done was make me so lazy, unfocused, and unmotivated. I don’t know if being here I am so used to my comfort zone because home we associate as a comfortable place or what, but something needs to change. Being on my own at this age is more of a pride thing for me now. For awhile I was reading up on the Quarter Life Crisis and I am certain I am experiencing one. Or it may just be in my head and I am worrying too much? Is it really true your 30’s are “better” than your 20’s? I mean, it’s really what you make of it, isn’t it? I read up on so many self-help sites and books to seek some perspective, but it just doesn’t seem to “click”. All in all I am just not satisfied where I am currently and could really use some advice from those who may have been in my position before? I truly thank you.
Best,
D
December 18, 2018 at 11:33 am #269869AnonymousGuestDear Drew:
I don’t know about the “quarter life crisis”, there are crises at any age, really, what about a newborn-crisis, that moment of coming out of the comfort of the womb. Lots of people are in the holiday crisis as I type this, this “most wonderful time of the year” that isn’t so wonderful for so many.
I would say, having read your post (and I wish I could read it more attentively, perhaps tomorrow morning when I am fresh), that first priority is for you to find employment in your field, that entry level you mentioned, to produce income, pay those loans (find the best plan for fastest/ most efficient payment of the loans.. is there a way to have some of the loans forgiven?), and live out of state, away from your parents’ home.
I agree, it is not time to find yourself, as in finding what career you would be engaged in if you went back in time. It is about doing your best with the education you have now to produce income, move out of your parents’ home and pay back these loans, in this order.
I will soon be away from the computer and hope to read more from you (as well as re-read your original post) when I return, about sixteen hours from now. I hope other members reply to you before I am back.
anita
December 19, 2018 at 6:31 am #269959DrewParticipantHi, Anita!
Thank you for responding to my post. You make a valid point referring to crisis’s at many ages, so I am not alone there. I understand as the older you get, things change, and that’s what I guess I have trouble coming to terms with, hence why I brought up the QLC. I concur too about searching for employment as my number one priority.
In my situation I am not so sure about loan forgiveness, that these days as I read up on gets a bad reputation. There are, however, programs out there like government roles such as Peace Corp, Americorp, joining the service, etc that could help, but it’s not substantial. I invested the time looking into those and am not entirely opposed to the idea, but my main focus at the moment as you mentioned is finding the job first, moving out to wherever the position is located, and start paying back.
My full-time job right now is applying to full-time jobs, so I’ll just have to keep doing that and hope that someone will give me a chance or opportunity. Thank you again for your reply, it’s nice to hear from another person’s perspective.
December 19, 2018 at 11:37 am #270033AnonymousGuestDear Drew:
You are welcome. You make good sense in your posts and you are very gracious and pleasant.
If you want to add anything regarding your challenge of living at home, the challenges in your relationships with your parents, as well as the frustrations with applying for jobs as a full time job/ anything else, please do.
If you do post more I will read and reply when I am back to the computer in about sixteen hours from now.
anita
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