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miscarriage to being blocked….what do I do

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  • #373517
    hermes
    Participant

    abortion to being blocked….was I manipulated or am I overreacting

    Was I manipulated

    hi guys, long story short I ended up getting pregnant by the guy I was with. We went through everything for preparing to get an abortion, appointments, etc. I ended up having a blighted ovum which is from my understanding a type of miscarriage. This guy made me keep all of this a secret from my family, my friends, anyone & everyone. His family is very elite where I’m from & he basically threatened to sue me if I ever spoke about anything to anyone or that if I ever tried to blackmail him he would send my nudes out. All I had was him & my therapist, well he got mad I sent my therapist screenshots of part of a conversation we had during one of my telehealth appointments. He freaked out told me I didn’t have his permission to do that & that it was an invasion of privacy. Had me delete all of our texts, pics etc. then screenshot for proof. He promised he would do the same. He never sent proof. He began telling me things like, if I did this or that it would be good for us and we could move forward & have a clean slate & work towards a healthy friendship. He then tells me the other day that he has started seeing a therapist and she thinks we need to stop talking but before we do that he would let me blow him & that he might even fuck me. Then we could pretend we never knew each other. I realized last night that everything he asked me to do was only for his best interest not mine as well. I confronted him about it last night & about how he basically took advantage of my feelings to ensure protection of his secret about the pregnancy & that I have no real reason to continue protecting him anymore & how easily I could “out” him if I ever wanted to just as easily he could sue me (he’s a lawyer & his dad is as well) I would never exploit him but I was making the point that I care so much about his future that I’ve compromised my own feelings for his wants & needs. He got upset sent me a long message & then blocked me.

    He always claimed wanting to move forward but once I address my feelings I get blocked. How do I handle this?

    TL;DR- got pregnant, basically forced to keep a secret or get sued if spoken to anyone, feel he manipulated me into protecting his reputation & future I called him out & now I am blocked

    #373531
    anita
    Participant

    Dear hermes:

    I am sorry that you’ve been having such a tough time. You had a miscarriage and the guy made you “keep all of this a secret from.. anyone & everyone”- why did he want you to keep the pregnancy and miscarriage a secret/ what was he afraid will happen if you tell people about it?

    anita

     

     

    • This reply was modified 1 month, 1 week ago by anita.
    #373533
    hermes
    Participant

    Hi anita, his family is very prominent and “elite” where we are from and in the public eye. He wants no one to know anything because ultimately it would ruin his reputation and image, as well as his families. He stated he would lose his inheritance and taking over the family law firm if it were to ever come out. Basically he has an entire livelihood to lose.

    #373534
    anita
    Participant

    Dear hermes:

    I am trying to understand what you want in this situation, what your objective is: do you want him to unblock you and continue a relationship with him, or do you want to sue him for having mistreated you the way he has, or something else ?

    anita

    #373546
    anita
    Participant

    Dear hermes:

    You wrote: “He then tells me.. we need to stop talking but before we do that he would let me b*** him & that he might even f*** me. Then he could pretend we never knew each other”-

    -what he said was rude, crude and cruel, I am so sorry you heard him say that. Please do not accept what he said as anything more than the most despicable verbiage, indicative of a vile character. There is nothing “elite” about this man. Please do not debase/ humiliate yourself by having sex with him ever again.

    anita

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