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Mistake I cant seem to let go of

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  • July 20, 2020 at 8:06 am #362161
    Johnny
    Participant

    This is a continuation to a previous conversation of childhood mistakes for others who read, all in all I made a mistake as a 10-11 year old, as explained prior post, and im struggling to let go of it through heavy guilt.

    I await your reply Anita thank you

    • This topic was modified 3 years, 9 months ago by Johnny.
    July 20, 2020 at 8:16 am #362165
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear Johnny:

    We can start with what you shared here: “I was always brought up in a somewhat strict home… Always felt guilt if I did something bad like I broke my sister’s toy by accident for example.. accidents like that”-

    – it doesn’t seem fair to be disapproved of or to be punished otherwise for accidents, does it.

    Can you tell me more about how you were disapproved of and punished otherwise for accidents?

    * You may feel resistance to remembering and sharing this, let me know if this is the case.

    anita

     

    July 20, 2020 at 8:22 am #362166
    Johnny
    Participant

    Dead Anita,

    I don’t mind sharing, I was just mainly shouted at and told to go to my room if I did anything bad. It didn’t happen often, but I was just told that things like swearing, causing trouble in school, bullying we’re bad, etc… and it’s not good to do them. So I tried not to do them and things along those lines because they are bad. Also disappointment too, I didn’t like it when my parents were disappointed in me or angry that I did something wrong so i tried to avoid it in general.

    Kind regards

    July 20, 2020 at 8:23 am #362167
    Johnny
    Participant

    Holy moly I mean Dear* Anita I apologise.

    Kind regards

    July 20, 2020 at 9:55 am #362171
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear Johnny:

    “I was just mainly shouted at.. if I did anything bad.. I was just told that things like swearing, causing trouble  in school, bullying were bad“-

    – do you know that shouting at a child or at anyone (unless in emergency situations like a house burning) was a bad thing that your shouting parent/ parents did?

    “I didn’t like it when my parents were disappointed or angry that I did something wrong, so I tried to avoid it”-

    – you tried to avoid their shouting, I imagine, because it  is a scary experience, to be shouted at, and it’s most painful to be shouted at  by the parents you try so hard to please, isn’t it?

    anita

     

    July 20, 2020 at 10:00 am #362172
    Johnny
    Participant

    Dear Anita,

    Yes that is correct, it made me scared and anxious if I knew I had done something bad and they were about to find out, and I would be told off, etc

    Kind regards

    July 20, 2020 at 10:14 am #362175
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear Johnny:

    Did it make you feel that you are a bad person when you were shouted at?

    anita

    July 20, 2020 at 10:18 am #362176
    Johnny
    Participant

    i honestly can’t remember, I would assume so as i was scared of being told off and felt bad afterwards

    July 20, 2020 at 10:42 am #362177
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear Johnny:

    I don’t know if you read my last post to you on the other thread regarding seeking professional therapy. Read it if you haven’t and let me know what you think of what I suggested there, will you?

    anita

    July 20, 2020 at 12:48 pm #362191
    Johnny
    Participant

    Dear Anita,

    I did read it. I’ll probably check out some books, and if I still feel lost I will check out therapy. As a person who has heard what I’ve had to say, what do you think of my situation or my mistake? Do you think I am overreacting and have taken this thought too far? From reading other things from that thread.

    Kind regards

    July 20, 2020 at 1:35 pm #362193
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear Johnny:

    “From reading other things from that thread”, as well as what you “had to say”, I say: locate a professional mental health therapist who specializes in childhood sexual abuse, a person with the education, certification and experience on the matter, and ask that person the question you are asking me.

    If this issue has tormented you for 15 years, I would imagine that you would be highly motivated to pay for a professional assessment of what you shared here and guidance regarding how to proceed.

    anita

    July 20, 2020 at 2:06 pm #362195
    Johnny
    Participant

    Hmm ok…

    Kind regards

    July 20, 2020 at 5:19 pm #362213
    Johnny
    Participant

    I’ve given it some thought and I will do so, though I was hoping for some more answers I appreciate you have listened and given your advice. Thank you and take care,

    Kind regards

    July 20, 2020 at 5:35 pm #362216
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear Johnny:

    You are welcome. I hope that that you will indeed direct your very private question to an individual professional expert on the matter that has been troubling you for 15 years, in the context of a private setting, instead of directing your question to anyone and everyone, in the context of a public setting.

    anita

    • This reply was modified 3 years, 9 months ago by .
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