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mother boundaries

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  • October 14, 2016 at 2:01 pm #118222
    Emma
    Participant

    Hi all,
    I’d love recommendations for setting boundaries with my mother.

    She is very negative, and I find it emotionally tolling and draining to be around her. She disparages everyone, including me, while elevating herself. I feel confident that this behaviour comes from her own lack of self worth, but it doesn’t make it any easier to be around. In addition to being so negative, she is also very controlling and manipulates the choices of family members by making it clearly and uncomfortably known that she does not approve.

    I’d really like some books to read on this subject. I have found articles here at Tiny Buddha about boundaries and saying no, but they focused more on the general idea without any actual tips or suggestions on how to establish healthy boundaries and how to follow through.

    Thanks!
    Emma.

    October 14, 2016 at 3:19 pm #118223
    Peter
    Participant

    I found ‘Boundaries’ By Dr. Henry Cloud and John Townsend helpful

    It does have religious content which I know some people might reject out of hand however the authors do a good job explaining how and when to set boundaries and its not preachy.

    Actually it is often the religious or spiritual minded person that wishes to be loving and unselfish that are more likely to forget to set their own limits and limitations.

    • This reply was modified 8 years, 1 month ago by Peter.
    October 15, 2016 at 12:03 am #118226
    Holli
    Participant

    Do yourself a tremendous favor and read The Dance of Anger by Harriet Lerner. Let me know how it works out for you.

    October 15, 2016 at 5:45 am #118239
    Inky
    Participant

    Hi coffeeandtea,

    I second the Boundaries book by Townsend. There are also spin off companion books of it from the same author.

    There’s also a book Dealing Successfully with Screwed Up People that had strategies.

    Go on Amazon and check them out! Amazon will also show: “Other Books Like This You May Like” in case there are other books like it! (There will be!!)

    Good Luck!

    Inky

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