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Moving in with my boyfriend

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This topic contains 4 replies, has 3 voices, and was last updated by  anita 9 months ago.

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  • #197115

    Sophie
    Participant

    hi everyone

    I have landed my dream job in Canada, I have a amazing kind caring boyfriend who I’m so in love with already even thought it’s only been two months, I’ve never felt this way about anyone, he doesn’t make me feel scared and like it’s going to end so I must run. I’m enjoying the person I am around him and I’ve honestly never been happier.

     

    so we are in a snow resort right now and I’m 4 weeks we move to another location to start the summer together. At first we thought it a bad idea to live together as it was rushed and didn’t want anything bad to happy as it’s going so well, a few week later after that chat he asked if I would move in together, we had a long hard chat and after much thought I agreed. The packing for two nights, not seeing each other, going to others houses and making other housemates possibly mad just didn’t seem worth it and of course we want to be together.

    thankfuly we are both very independent and do our own thing, we don’t question each other about where are you going, when will you be back …. we are very much living our lives the same.

    so my question is, is there any advise you could please offer me to stop worrying. What if this brake us, is this to soon even though I want it, how do I set my boundaries and stick to them.

    i guess I do have some anxiety usually in a relationship just because I don’t want it to end, of corse I don’t want to be that crazy girl that talks like that all the time and I 100 percent trust him.

    some advise on just to stay amazing whilst living and hanging out together would be awesome

     

    thank you

    soohie x

    #197147

    Inky
    Participant

    Hi Sophie,

    I know this isn’t what you want to hear, but don’t move in together. If you want to get married, statistically that is less likely to happen when you are roommates. And if you’re unhappy one day, then you are “stuck”.

    I always kept my own place when I was dating my husband. Yes, it drove him nuts that we had two places, but life (and our relationship) was so much simpler.

    Best,

    Inky

    #197197

    anita
    Participant

    Dear Sophie:

    Welcome back. Once you move in, sooner than later, you will struggle, I believe simply because you have struggled before. Here is what you wrote June last year: “I have anxiety in relationships… I get insecure, blame him for not showing me attention… i’m telling myself he doesn’t love me just to make it easier on myself by pushing him away”-

    You can re-read your own posts in previous threads, see what you are likely to encounter when you do move in, the difficulties you had before. Pay attention. Share with him responsibly (not expecting him to fix your difficulties). Balance time alone, while living with him, with time together. Have good communication, find reasonable solutions to conflicts. Avoid fighting- not a must in a relationship, it harms, doesn’t help, to argue and to fight.

    How has your communication been so far, within these two monthsI wonder. Did you already encounter conflicts and if you did, how did the two of you resolve those?

    anita

    #197201

    Sophie
    Participant

    Hi Anita

    thank you for your response, although slightly envoi after reading yours and the previous, we do not fight at all, our communication is beyond great I trust him 100 percent and like I said it’s not like any other relationship I’ve had. He makes me a better person and I’ve not had any anxiety or thoughts of running away, I feel secure and safe.

     

    i will take on what you said about communication and setting time for myself. As it is only 3 month of living together I personally think it will be good as we are living with others who are very sociable and fun.

    I hope that we can make it work because right now I’m on cloud nine.

     

    thank you

    Sophie

    #197205

    anita
    Participant

    Dear Sophie:

    Enjoy cloud 9, please do. And post again anytime you’d like.

    anita

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