Hi Fe.

I was also in the same situation where he finally end it for good and did not want to work it out anymore.
I’m still not completely over the breakup but I am better than I was the day after the breakup. Here’s what I did and maybe it will help you too:

Like everyone else would suggest, the first step to moving on is grieving. It’s perfectly normal to cry; just cry it all out. I cried so much to a point where I can’t even shed a tear for him anymore even if I wanted to.

Then when my head is clear, after my “love goggles” are off and I can see things for what they really are, I made a couple of lists on my phone. A list of reasons why we’re not compatible (all the little and big things in the relationship that annoyed me but I ignored it because I wanted to be with him), a list of all the things I hate about him, and a list of hurtful things he said and done the days leading to, during, and after the breakup. It’s very common to miss that person after the breakup and think about all of the good memories you guys had, which may make you want to contact that person. But every time I get that urge now, I stop myself and go over these lists. It reminds me, “Why do I even want to get back with a person like that?”

Right after my breakup, I fell into a minidepression where I didn’t want to talk to anyone (except him), didn’t want to do anything, with anyone. My family encouraged me to hang out with them, I refused. But I thought to myself, why am I pushing away the people that DOES appreciate and love me and pine after someone who doesn’t care about me at all? In a way, I was being him to my loved ones! So I made an effort to be around others and hang out with them and it does help a bit.

Along with that, I’d dress up more often than usual when I go out. I don’t know about you but when I look good, I feel good. And getting compliments from other people reminds me that I am attractive, compared to how he made me feel when he dumped me.

I also threw away everything I had that remind me of him, drawings, pictures, anniversary gifts, clothes. Everything. Except one thing: a recent picture of him. I don’t know if this situation applies to you, but I wasn’t physically attracted to my ex at all when we first talked. It was his personality that I fell in love with, but he has proven that he’s not such of a great person in the inside either. So whenever I miss him or get the urge to talk to him, the picture reminds me that those good memories are things of the past, and now he’s just someone I’m unattracted to inside and out! It works every. time I look at it.

The last thing that is really helping me heal from the breakup is talking it out rather than bottling it up, especially with people who are going through the same thing as me.

I hope these things will help you move on from your breakup. Try to stay strong even when you don’t feel like it, and just post on here whenever you feel like you’re about to do something unproductive to your healing process such as contacting him.