Dear Emma:

“whenever I want to talk to her about something that concerns me, she would always turn the subject to herself.. Most of the times she won’t listen to me if I don’t ask for it specifically… Tina asked her how she was doing and before she even began to respond, Tina started talking about herself and her boyfriend out of nowhere. Recently that phenomenon has become worse. Tina would interrupt me to tell me about herself and her boyfriend”-

– This is how I understand what is happening with Tina: you know that thoughts often occur to you during your waking hours, sometimes an ongoing conversation taking place in your head?

In Tina’s case the thoughts and conversations in her head are frequent and loud, so much so, that she can’t hear real conversations in the here-and-now. She asked her friend how the friend was doing, the friend started talking, but so did the thoughts/ voices in Tina’s brain.. she was thinking about herself and her boyfriend, what he said, what she said, what he may be doing now, what she should tell him next, and so on and on and on.

When she is not with her boyfriend, she is thinking about him, she remembers what happened and she thinks about what will happen next, being focused therefore on the there and then (past and future), and not availing herself to the here-and-now.

Was she more relaxed and present before she entered the relationship with her boyfriend, and did she tell you of what makes her so anxious regarding her relationship?

anita