Hey there,

It sounds like you’re doing very well in a difficult situation. I can only imagine how hard it must be for him right now and he is very lucky to have such a caring person like you around.

The first thing that comes to mind is that some things we have to discover for ourselves, even if somebody else tells them to us, no matter who they may be, we have to really ponder and appreciate them before they become a part of us. Of course hearing compassionate ideas often helps us to start thinking about it for ourselves and accepting it in the long run. So just keep being supportive.

And secondly it might be worth keeping in mind that nobody is ever perfect; there’s no such thing. Some people have a pair of perfectly working eyes but don’t really “see” or ever appreciate what they see, some people are completely blind but see a lot more than most. Beethoven went deaf at a very young age but that didn’t stop him from composing amazing music. “Every other guy” has his own issues and faults, so we should avoid comparing ourselves because in the end we’re all just human.

Dear Claire,
Not sure if this helps but I figured it was worth a shot.

People tend to fear and judge that which they do not know and that which is different. Do not feel ashamed for not being ignorant. Take pride in the fact that you saw what other failed to see and in it you found love, something that very few can truly discover.

To make him feel better about himself if you are willing to invest yourself, tell him you will be there for him and give him a hug. Actions speak louder than words but sometimes we need people to point them out for us. Let him know that he’s not an idiot, you think hes the best guy for you ,and because you truly believe those things that is why you are there for him. Then treat him as much as you can the same way your relationship was before deafness. If you start treading around him differently he may feel hurt or like he is excessively holding you back. Maintaining relatively the same demeanor as much as you can and staying with him will demonstrate that together you can overcome his deafness

To manage first make sure you have a reliable source of communication in the event that his hearing goes for example you could use something like a Screen Braille Communicator. After that it is a matter of adjusting to a new life. At times it will be difficult but remember what made you love him and know your are doing your best to keep those parts alive.
Sincerely,
AZT