Recently, a guy friend of mine who I’ve known since 8th (We’re both juniors now) confessed to liking me. Though I’ve never really had feelings for him above being a good friend, and I agreed to his advancement and we’ve been dating for a week now. I’ve found him quite enjoyable to be around, and he speaks fondly of me.
The problem is that I feel undeserving of his affection as I’ve done a lot of “unholy” things to put it lightly, things that involve me hurting (not physically) other people. I worry that if he knew the truth about me, he’d be disgusted and upset that he wasted his time on someone like me. So I’m in a bit on a conundrum here; if I’m honest with him about the things I’ve done years ago, he’ll be disgusted and leave me. If I’m not honest with him, then he’ll be in love with someone I’m not. Just to clarify, I’m not faking my personality per say, but I’m definitely not honest about everything that I’ve done. The things I’ve done aren’t just small, forgettable one offs either, I’ve suffered a lot just about thinking obsessively over what I’ve done. The incidents don’t involve my boyfriend, but am I being dishonest if I don’t tell him despite those actions having occurred years ago while I was a different person? Does my boyfriend deserve to find someone truly worth his praise?