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My first kiss

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  • #146871
    Selena
    Participant

    I’m 18 (I’ve only been for like 6 months) and theres this guy at my job who likes me and I liked him at the time. Anyways every time I saw him, we would flirt and stuff together until he gave me his number. I was actually quite excited because he was a crush and I’ve never had a guy give me their number. Meanwhile me and this guy were texting and a bunch of other stuff happens. Like I tell him I am a virgin and I’ve never kissed a boy and I tell him I want him to be my first kiss. We also start talking about sex and I tell him I want to lose it (but I was always going back and forth from being ready to or not). Fast forward and me and him have already kissed and fooled around but after we did that he just stopped texting me. I was surprised because he always texted me and asked to hang out all the time. He also stopped flirting with me at work and stuff , and I got even more confused because I didn’t know there was something wrong. So a couple days later I asked him if he wants to meetup somewhere and he flat out said no and he was busy. And I just said ok and didn’t mind. I was becoming really upset because I thought everything was going fine until he was avoiding me. Then one night I had some courage and texted him why he never texts me or talks to me anymore, and he said he thinks I am shady. He thinks I am not a virgin and I sleep around a lot (which is so not true). He then said he didn’t want to sleep with me and he want nothing to do with me and that he was blocking my number. I tried telling him that I am a virgin and that all of the stuff I said was true to him. But I dont think he will listen or care. Now I have a huge dilemma because I am stuck and I don’t know what to do. I’ve never been in a relationship so I dont know how this works. Do I leave him alone? Do I never speak to him again?(He will barely speak to me and avoids me).

    I am asking you guys because its been eating me up and I wont stop thinking about what I did wrong when hes been with more girls than me. I don’t know how to deal with this situation because we work together. Also I kind of miss him but at the same time I don’t want to miss him because of what he said to me. I am trying hard to forget him. Should I just move on, I am scared that if I do, I might miss a relationship with him or something.

    #146879
    Taylor Magi
    Participant

    I’ve dealt with this before and it will be really hard to move on, especially if he was your first kiss. But, if he all of a sudden stopped texting you because he didn’t trust that you were a virgin, that isn’t someone you should be with. You did nothing wrong! He obviously has his own problems that he needs to take care of before he can truly take care of you. It’s totally normal that you’re afraid you’re going to miss out, but if he treated you that way, fighting would probably happen a lot. That is considering the fact that he thought you weren’t a virgin himself and didn’t get that idea from someone else. I wish you good luck, my love!

    #146895
    Craig
    Participant

    Hi Selena,

    I hope you give your time and heart to someone who will believe what you share with him. A person who tells you that you’re lying, when in fact you are being truthful, can be exhausting to be around, and is not worthy of your heart.

    Just my opinion.

    Craig

    #146983
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear Selena:

    You asked: “Should I just move on, I am scared that if I do, I might miss a relationship with him or something.”?

    The answer is clearly to NOT pursue him further, and to move on, to ignore him at work, to have no communication with him at work (or minimal if necessary for work purposes).

    The reason it is clearly the answer is because you wrote: “He then said…(that) he want nothing to do with me and that he was blocking my number.”- he clearly said he wants nothing to do with you, so you have to respect that and have nothing to do with him.

    anita

    #147061
    Quinn Martin
    Participant

    @Anita
    “The reason it is clearly the answer is because you wrote: “He then said…(that) he want nothing to do with me and that he was blocking my number.”- he clearly said he wants nothing to do with you, so you have to respect that and have nothing to do with him.” -Anita
    Yeayeayea, that may be true and although I do agree with it there are a thousand other ways he could’ve said that or explained things. If you both lead each other on equally and then the one drops it’s not bad in my book, and that he ignored her isn’t the end of the world for me, but when you confront them with it and they simply give you the “goodbye” message then that is kinda crossing the line, the least you could do is give an explanation, but if he won’t, and he’s not prepared to listen, then yes you gotta just accept it and move on : P


    @Selena

    You should just move on. I mean the least he can do is believe you, from what I can tell you wouldn’t’ve worked out (sorry if that hurts) so don’t think you’re missing out on anything. Also another something came to my attention that is NOT deductable from your message. Exactly HOW did the flirting start? There’s a difference between flirting after having reached a certain comfortable stage after one, three and five days in itself. Someone who sees more in you will generally take steps more slowly to give themselves time to go in, generally people who see less in you could flirt on you from the first day, it really all depends, and this kind of stuff I’m not saying from experience, but from intuition combined with stories, so I could be wrong.

    Also if you want to contact me on other social medias except here just ask o: would it be hypocritical to say I like you xD I think so :$ but still. If you need any more advice from me just ask 🙂 I’m here for you <3

    • This reply was modified 7 years, 2 months ago by Quinn Martin.
    #147215
    Selena
    Participant

    Hi Quinn,

    Me and this guy had a lot happen to us in a short amount of time. But he started flirting with me around 2 months or a month ago. And he kind of eased himself into it slowly. Then a couple weeks later he gave me his number and we started texting.

    #147271
    Quinn Martin
    Participant

    Ah, all right, that’s interesting. Thanks for answering back 🙂
    As for updated advice cause of this new info you should still move on.
    Also if you need more help you can always ask me : )

    You’ll get through it 🙂 and you have plenty of people here supporting you. I know you’ll make the right choice <3
    And if you want to talk to me even more just ask for my social medias, I’d be happy to give them.

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