Melissa, just wanted you to know I’m sending you some positive energy. Seeking therapy for him is definitely a positive step. Are there any support groups you can join? Can you talk to a specialist in porn addiction to determine what the relevance of this content could be? I’m glad you reached out here. Hopefully, someone else will have some insight into this problem. I just wanted to let you know that I listened and am sorry your family is going through this.

You’re in a difficult situation.

Jaye is probably right. If you truly believe that those videos are indicative of his fantasies, then you have a duty to protect.

Although you might “overprotect”, the prevention of harm to a child is of paramount importance. I know that the law in Canada is such that even the presence of a threat of future harm is sufficient to enable authorities to intervene.

Best wishes to you,

Amok, thank you for blaming the OP. Yes, it must be all her fault. REALLY?

So therefore it must have been my fault, too.

Yeah, I picked him. That WAS my fault.

While, for many men, “a little” porn might be mostly harmless, here are some red flag alerts she made in her brief note:

~ home alone with his daughters.

~ type and frequency.

~ on his phone.

~ fear he has other secrets.

~ her own hurt.

These are all indications that there is a larger problem than an occasional look at porn. I have looked at porn and enjoyed it. But if my partner said he was uncomfortable with it, it would not be an issue. I would surely not be hiding in a bathroom, to look at it. That is the difference. Also, while looking at porn, I always have in the back of mind a running dialogue about the source of the porn. If the woman posts pictures of herself, it is a lot different than if someone exploited her in the capturing of the image or video.

Women tend to be right in their fears concerning men. If she is alarmed enough to post, more than likely she is correct.

But reading your post, you won’t even be able to take this in…

because in your reality, it is the woman’s fault if the man is not satisfied.

Melissa, don’t let this kind of crap question your belief of what the situation is in your home. I am sorry for your situation, the pain you must be feeling, and the fact that others can come on here and diminish you or your feelings.

Please give us an update if you are willing…

I know your post was a month ago but I just joined this site. My heart goes out to you. Whatever you do don’t blame yourself. Yes, you picked your mate but when someone has a addiction like this they can be very clever in hiding it sometimes for years. I know first hand. I dated my ex for 5 years and we were married a total of 2. It was in the first year that I started finding odd things, a few websites were left up on the computer which I dismissed then at first because you could search for other things car parts, home goods etc always on there, until I clicked on the sites and realized it wasn’t one you could accidentally click on you actually had to create a profile in this site. I started snooping more looked into the phone bill and sure if you typed the numbers in his phone record into google it took you to a add for a call girl. Needless to say I lost it confronted him and he denied. I made him move out and after he realized there was no way to explain his way out of it he confessed it all, it started with porn addiction and when that wasn’t enough he turned to a sex site that you hooked up with married people (in his mind this was ok because the married couple approved…well hello your spouse doesn’t) when the married couples wasn’t exciting enough he turned to call girls then to transsexual call girls. If you met my husband and seen us in our marriage and how he was by me no one would of ever suspected it. It turns out his father abused him at 13 and he never told anyone until he started therapy. The one thing u learned from going to therapy with him was everyone’s level of addiction is different and I hope this is just a phase for your husband, the fact the kids are anywhere near when he does this based on the endless articles, books I drive myself nuts reading leads me to tell you to follow most the advice given on the above replies and please protect and prepare yourself for your kids not because your husband may ever hurt them but because you may be faced with things no wife or mother should have to face in their
marriage. We divorced over it but we didn’t have kids, I still would of left if we had. No matter what happens start therapy for yourself by yourself too, I carried a lot of guilt for leaving that I don’t want to see anyone go through. Like I said I know your post was a month ago I hope things are better for you by now.