Home→Forums→Health and Fitness→My Journey Through Anxiety and Insomnia
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October 1, 2024 at 7:23 am #438469SoothfyParticipant
In 2020, during the peak of the COVID-19 pandemic, my life took a dramatic turn. In March, I was struck with pneumonia, a condition that kept me bedridden for 20 long days. The symptoms felt eerily similar to those of COVID-19, and at that time, the fear surrounding the virus was palpable. I couldn’t help but worry that I was infected with COVID. I had heard that the tests were often inaccurate and that many people who were truly infected received negative results. This uncertainty weighed heavily on my mind.
As I underwent various tests, including a CT scan at a local facility, I felt an overwhelming sense of dread. My CRP levels were normal, but I dismissed these results, convinced they were incorrect. My anxiety escalated to alarming levels, causing my blood pressure to drop, which ultimately led to a two-day hospital admission. A local nurse suggested I might have COVID and urged me to seek treatment at a larger hospital.
Panic set in as I rushed to the big hospital and met with a prominent doctor. After conducting more tests and another CT scan, the doctor confirmed my fears were unfounded; I was not infected with COVID. A wave of relief washed over me, and my anxiety levels began to subside.
However, my relief was short-lived. A month later, my uncle contracted COVID, and my brother and I rushed him to a major hospital. There, he was given oxygen and admitted for five days, receiving remdesivir shots. It was a horrifying experience; I witnessed countless bodies wrapped in black plastic, and the hospital took care of the cremations. Family members were not allowed to attend due to the risk of infection. It was a scene of utter despair.
Tragically, my grandmother also contracted COVID. Knowing there was no time to waste, my brother and I took her to a local hospital, as every larger facility was overwhelmed. Within two days, her oxygen levels plummeted, and she passed away. The shock hit me hard; I was consumed with the fear that I too might be infected and would meet the same fate as my grandmother. My anxiety skyrocketed. My hands shook, my mouth felt dry, and I had an incessant urge to drink water. My heart raced, feeling as though it would burst from my chest. These overwhelming feelings spiraled into insomnia, and for 15 consecutive days, I couldn’t find a moment of sleep.
After 20 to 25 days, my anxiety levels began to decrease slightly, but I still grappled with the fear of COVID. I convinced myself that if I hadn’t contracted the virus by now, I was in the clear. Yet, the insomnia persisted. I would lie in bed wide awake, and no matter how hard I tried, sleep eluded me.
In a desperate attempt to regain control, I tried everything I could think of—cardio workouts, an anxiety-relief diet, evening bananas, breathing exercises, morning yoga, and cutting out caffeine entirely. I took supplements like ashwagandha, lemongrass, and valerian root. I engaged in nighttime meditation, aromatherapy, and even massage therapy, but nothing seemed to help.
Feeling defeated, I reached out to doctors online who prescribed medication. My family advised against it, insisting it was all in my mind. But they couldn’t understand what I was going through. Only those who have suffered know the depths of such pain. I decided against taking medication and sought help from therapists instead. I attended sessions for 15 days, each costing around $100, yet still saw no improvement.
Each day felt like an uphill battle; I cried alone, feeling more isolated than ever. My diet dwindled to just one meal a day, exacerbating my anxiety. Frustrated, I stopped the therapy sessions, feeling like I was trapped in a cycle of despair. I reached out to 20 different doctors, both online and offline, but many dismissed my concerns, simply prescribing medication and scheduling follow-ups without really listening to my story.
Then, I found a doctor at AIIMS in Delhi. She listened intently to my struggles, comforting me with her empathy. With kindness, she recommended that I take medication temporarily to manage my anxiety and improve my sleep. I followed her advice and started on mirtazapine. To my astonishment, my anxiety began to ease, and I started to sleep again. It felt like I was the happiest person in the world.
However, my journey with medication continued for two years. I followed up with her monthly, and she monitored my progress closely. During those two years, my sleep would fluctuate, but I managed to maintain a routine of intense cardio. I pushed myself even when I was exhausted, fearing that if I didn’t, my sleep would suffer. Despite the pain, I believed that cardio was essential for my well-being.
After two years, my doctor suggested tapering off the medication. I began by taking half a tablet for one month, then halved it again, and eventually transitioned to taking no medication every other day. Sometimes it worked; sometimes it didn’t, but I persevered. One day, I decided to stop the medication altogether, and to my surprise, it worked. I was able to sleep without it, and I felt on top of the world.
I still avoided caffeine, as I knew it disturbed my sleep, and I refrained from screens after 9 PM. I maintained my cardio routine, pushing myself even through pain. But one day, I experienced such intense leg pain that I couldn’t even stand. Concerned about my body, I halted my cardio routine.
I consulted various doctors, each one conducting tests, only to tell me I had a spine problem. Deep down, I felt something was off. Then, a friend recommended a chiropractor. After reviewing my MRIs and test results, he diagnosed me with arthritis. I was taken aback—this diagnosis felt wrong to me. However, I decided to follow his dietary recommendations while remaining skeptical about the arthritis claim.
To my surprise, after adopting his suggested diet, my leg pain improved significantly. It was a revelation! Now, I continue to follow his advice for managing arthritis while keeping my mental health in check. I’m hopeful about my journey and eager to see how my body responds as I maintain this new lifestyle.
Soothfy
October 1, 2024 at 10:44 am #438475anitaParticipantDear Soothfy:
Thank you for sharing your amazing journey through anxiety and insomnia. It started in 2020, fueled by (as I understand it to be) Covid-19 Anxiety Syndrome (not an official diagnosis). You didn’t trust negative results for Covid, and you didn’t trust results that showed normal CRP levels (indicating no inflammation in the body): “I dismissed these results, convinced they were incorrect. My anxiety escalated to alarming levels, causing my blood pressure to drop… Panic set“.
Your anxiety calmed after a prominent doctor in a big hospital confirmed to you that you were not infected with Covid. But a month later, when your uncle contracted Covid, you visited him in the hospital and “witnessed countless bodies wrapped in black plastic, and the hospital took care of the cremations. Family members were not allowed to attend due to the risk of infection. It was a scene of utter despair“.
Next, your grandmother also contracted Covid and passed away. Your anxiety skyrocketed, spiraling into insomnia.
Cardio workouts, yoga, dietary changes and supplements, aromatherapy, massage therapy and expensive psychotherapy.. all these did not help. Finally, you came across an empathetic and kind doctor at All India Institutes of medical Sciences: “I found a doctor at AIIMS in Delhi. She listened intently to my struggles, comforting me with her empathy. With kindness, she recommended that I take medication temporarily to manage my anxiety and improve my sleep. I followed her advice and started on mirtazapine. To my astonishment, my anxiety began to ease, and I started to sleep again. It felt like I was the happiest person in the world“-
– I wonder how much of the improvement you experienced was due to the doctor listening intently to you, comforting you with her empathy and kindness. What a difference an attentive, empathetic and kind treatment can make in professional and personal settings!
Congratulations for doing all that you can to help yourself. I hope that you continue to manage your arthritis well, to keep your mental health in check, and I hope that your body responds well to your new lifestyle. Your story is inspiring and told so well, thank you! I hope to read more from you: anytime that you feel like sharing more about your amazing journey, please do!
anita
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