I guess i’ll share my truth…my life! I’ll do it in different posts though. Let’s start at the beginning I guess?

Before my birth my dad fell for my mother for some reason…she was always drunk and he had to carry her telling me she was not always this way, fell into the wrong crowd. I was born July 11th 1984 at a hospital that was filled with bunny rabbits that never went away and they hired people to take them or kill them because it was such an infestation of them! anyway, back to my story…I don’t remember much about her but she was drunk a lot, dropped me down a flight of stairs outside once when I was a baby, probably the reason i’m as dumb as I am today. She took off when I was 1 for a decade before getting into touch with us via letters. Always finding guys who beat her she was telling us, then eventually came back to where I live and we met up once a week for a while until I decided I had enough of her and never talked to her since (like age 15?). She tried contacting me through facebook and the mail but I always ignored her, sometimes I felt really bad…not for ignoring her but the memories. She went to rehab and got better apparently, found god and found her spiritual side as a guy from my work who kept in touch with her tells me. She also got into the heavy drugs before rehab..needles and stuff, another customer from my work I’ve not seen for a while was her drug buddy…always did them together. She got aids I was told, but apparently she cleaned up and found “god”, still tried to get ahold of me through that 1 customer but it never happened. She also made a childrens book and was about to make another until she always had to go for trips to the hospital and apparently died last week on the operating table.

Grew up with my dad but he makes me feel like i’m a worthless human being…if I fail at something? just give it up! you tried, so just quit now. Or yell at me because he died in his video game and I was talking to him, or he’s angry about something and yells at me anyway, or something small? like Saturday told me to tell him the address to the place we were going so he can put it on his phone to tell Siri and I said i’ll just look at the google maps and he starts freaking out yelling FOR NO REASON!!! like always though…or the first time I moved out? told me i’ll run out of money in the first month and be crawling back….I was back 3 years later. I wanted to move out again soon and he said “you’ll be back” and had a smile…things like that! I’ve always had to deal with. Might sound like nothing but when you’re hearing this all the time it makes you feel pathetic. I wanted to get into a trade a while ago and he said “but you suck at math”, so I said “then i’ll learn and not suck…”, he told me I can’t and that I went to Sylvans learning center after grade 12 for a few years and they pretty much told me and my dad i’m wasting his money and that i’m too dumb but not in so many words, got to read through the lines. He also reminded me of going to get my first aid…TWICE! both times I was told not to come back the final day for the test as I was not going to pass regardless. Like I said…i’m dumb, but I’ve always got to be reminded of it.

My sister? She was pretty fucked up too…been through the social services because of her and they tell you what to say pretty much. She ran away, made my dad lose all his friends because of her lies, acted up, moved in with Uncle and Aunt and they kinda gave up on her because her acting up. She’s got bipolar, mega depression, etc etc…if she does not take pills she gets really crazy now she told me, people where she lives call her “the crazy lady” Now she texts me if she needs money just so she can text me…told me her fiancé has no money and is waiting for his UI so I gave her $120 to pay for her internet bill. Then comes the phone bill where I gotta pay $30+ so she can text and I did this twice. She text me last week saying she really misses texting me all the time like she used to but…she never text me for 3 weeks! she then says she needs $20 so she can text me again but i’m always ignoring her except to tell her mom died.

Grandma died before I was born

Grandpa died when I was like 14? I was told he fell but i’m pretty sure he committed suicide. He never really cared for me anyway…only did things with my sister while I was ignored.

Uncle and Aunt pretty much only want to talk to us when it’s Thanksgiving or Christmas…they rather spend time with her side of the family.