Just a little background: I’m a 29-year-old female and I grew-up living with my dad. He got custody of me when I was very young due to my mom’s drug use. My mom and I had a rocky relationship up until 2 years ago when it became so severely toxic that I chose to not have her in my life anymore and we haven’t talked since.

My younger half brother still has a relationship with her though. Today I was talking to my brother on the phone and he made a random comment saying his friend’s partner was HIV positive and the said, “People can sometimes not get it from their partner though… like how mom never got it.”

I didn’t know what he meant so I said “What so you mean?” and he said, “Are you serious right now? You never knew our step dad was HIV positive?”

I was in shock. Not because of the illness, but because for over 10 years my mom (and I guess my step dad) LIED to me and said he had “chronic hypothyroidism” and needed to take medication everyday for it. The lies were somewhat elaborate too… like if he wasn’t feeling well it was always because of his “thyroid.” Or he was always very thin and my mom would casually joke and say “Don’t you wish you had his metabolism? I know I do!”

She also lied about other things, mainly her substance abuse issues… lies about my brother… her money situation… literally everything. I feel in shock because I don’t know even know for sure what was true and what wasn’t while I was growing up. I feel like our whole relationship was one big a lie and I don’t actually “know” who she is.

To be honest this all has contributed to my trust issues and it’s made me question my own reality. When you think something is a certain way for years only to find out it wasn’t real it kind of messes with you.

What honestly gives me chills is how believable she was and how “honest” she sounded all those years. All the while I didn’t know she was lying straight to my face.

I don’t know, what do you all think about this? Any tips on how to cope with knowing someone who was a pathological liar?