Dear Tommy:

I thought about your kidney stone situation and considered asking you about it in the last couple of weeks, glad to read that the saying this too shall pass literally applies to that stone, that it passed as well as the intense pain involved. I am sorry that you experienced that pain (and other pains).

Let’s drink enough water every day for better health, including for the prevention of (more) kidney stones being formed.

I read your post on the other thread, I like what you wrote there, it brings a smile to my face right now, thank you!!!

“When one awakes, nothing externally changes. Mountains are mountains and rivers are rivers. I think Dogen said that” – I live on a (not too tall of a) mountain and surrounded by mountains, little waterfalls around and a river down in the valley. Lots of trees.

I googled the Mountains and Rivers Sutra by Zen master Dogen. and liked a part here about a tree: “A tree is heavy at the root, light at the top. Its leaves sense the slightest movement of the wind and invariably move before the trunk can be swayed… A tree becomes dormant in order to become vital. This is the very key to our art- Action arising from Stillness. While the manifestations of its Force are evident, the root is kept hidden from plain view…. A tree is tall and noble, mysteriously alive, upright in bearing and continually growing and renewing until death, which is then met without a care.”

Comparing an awakened person to a tree, I wonder what it means that “the root is kept hidden from plain view”, do you know?

anita

Dear Tommy:

Thank you for answering my question. So, let me see… the life force that is in every living thing, plants and animals included, cannot be seen but it can be experienced if we are still. Thinking distracts one from Stillness. Stillness is in the space between the thoughts.

Thoughts are our interpretations of reality, including the reality of what makes it all possible, this life force. We have to stop trying to interpret life force in order to experience it. I suppose this is how plants and animals who do not think experience life force, the birds chirping in the morning, the way Hunter the Beagle used to explore every inch of the yard for new smells, new adventures.

“In my practice, I have had moments where the mind has let go of thoughts and there is quiet…  the quiet between thoughts takes on a focus of its own” – I want to practice this.

“I try to get up…  I think I do not sit right. Maybe a pillow to boost the backside would help” – I have two pillows against my back right now and they do help, also helps when sitting and feeling some stress in the lower back, to place the body weight more to the right or to the left or backward and having the right or left leg stretch this way or that way.

anita

Dear Tommy:

Thank you for the lesson, much appreciated! I want to reply to you further later. You mentioned “ego”. If you have the time, if you want to- can you explain “ego” to me? I read about it many times, but no explanation sticks in my brain, I keep forgetting what it means. Maybe you can explain to me in a way that I can understand…?

anita

Dear Tommy:

“I am no teacher and what little I know… You probably know more than I do” – I love your humility. I can’t bring myself to match it, but I like it. Coming to think about it, I already expressed myself with some humility in these forums following your lead, with your humility on my mind. But I don’t want to overdo it, don’t want to present myself as less-than, as inferior. Yet humility is a very good thing, essential, really, to know one’s limitations.

“When one thinks, the person is caught up in this mind, in this ego. And so, we have this constant monologue” – on my walk in the last couple of days, walking among the trees and sounds of birds and frogs and little waterfalls, I tried to understand Ego, and it occurred to me that ego=thinking. As simple as that, and it fits with your sentence, boldfaced above.

As I walked, I tried to not think and remembered how it always felt like I was failing at it and I felt badly about myself for failing at yet another task. I then thought that it must be impossible for any person to not think for long, like for a whole hour, when one has access to a language with hundreds of thousands of words all in between one’s two ears. I thought to myself: it’s okay if I don’t think for just a little while, every once in a while, so I focused on the sounds, the sights and the feel of the cold air against my face and I felt calm. I realized that my goal is not to not-think for the whole duration of the walk, or for five minutes… I am not a competition with anyone who I imagine can do better. I am taking a break, that’s all. Here is my guideline for myself:  when stressed- take a break.

“More practice and the peacefulness grows. Practice allows the moments between thoughts become longer. The depth of the stillness” – better than taking a break when stressed is taking breaks all along and in so doing, preventing or slowing down the buildup of stress.

“Maybe you have heard of Koans. A famous one is ‘What is the sound of one hand clap?‘” – koan: “a paradox to be meditated upon that is used to train Zen Buddhist monks to abandon ultimate dependence on reason…” (Merriam Webster). Elsewhere, about Hakuin Ekaku, the Japanese Zen master who might have been the one that came up with the-sound-of-one-hand-clap koan: “He once said that, not knowing how near the truth is,  most people will often seek it far away… We should never seek the answers by taking it further away in…with our minds. We should silence our mind, and feel the truth as it arises silently… silencing the noise of our minds”.

I just clapped with one hand and the sound was a swishing sound.

“the five skandhas… My mind shuts down when it comes to complicated thoughts about self. I just think of ego as what I believe myself to be” – I looked up skandhas on Wikipedia and read your explanation and it is too complicated for me. I like simplicity, like ego=thinking. This can stick in my brain so that when I see the word ego, I will substitute it with thinking.

“Sorry, I cannot really give you a good answer” – I think and feel that you led me to good answers over the last three days, on my walks and here, while typing away this long post, thank you!

anita

Dear Tommy:

“Meditation is not to stop thoughts. But to let go of thoughts” – the verb to stop suggests applying force, such as exerting force against the brake pedal of a car when forcing it to stop; to let go suggests gently allowing something to change, no application of force.

“I was told it is like letting the mud in water settle then one can see to the depths. The more one tries to push the mud down then the more the mud stirs up again” – applying force to the mud stirs the mud; gently allowing it to settle clears the water from mud. Force=> murkiness; Withdrawal of force=> Clarity.

“Meditation is also not just relaxation. The mind needs to focus…  Awareness is not allowed to slacken… One is not silencing the mind rather it is… staying very aware” – meditation is about focusing, about being aware. Overthinking/ thinking that serves no practical purpose hijacks our focus on/ attention to being alive; it hijacks our awareness of being alive.

“I do not try to do or be less than I am. And, I do not think you should either…  I know a little and there are many others who know more” – you present your knowledge in a way that settles the mud and clears the water in my brain, and therefore, your presentation is valuable to me regardless of how much you know. Thank you.

anita

Dear Tommy:

Years ago, I read a lot and forgot a lot. Talking with you brought alive the principles/ the basics behind a lot that I read and forgot about Buddhism. I have no desire to read books anymore, all I want is to practice the basics that you brought back to my attention. Thank you and best on your journey as well!

anita

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