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February 18, 2018 at 11:02 am #193201
BellamondoParticipantAt age 20, my future was planned with the person I married. I never imagined being divorced at 49, the kids all grown up and no one needing me. I am so lost in my life. I feel robbed of my life. Everything I have lived towards is gone and my kids are all grown up and don’t need me. How do I find a purpose in my life? Nothing excites me; people, hobbies, movies, books, volunteering, work. I can sleep all day and night.
February 18, 2018 at 4:09 pm #193223
MarkParticipantBellamondo,
It sounds like you are depressed if you lost interest in life and can sleep all day and night.
Some useful things to try are: get psychological help maybe get anti-depressants, exercise, volunteer to help others who are worse off than you.
Start from there and then you will be more resourceful to tackle the bigger questions like finding your life’s purpose.
Best to you,
MarkFebruary 19, 2018 at 9:24 am #193327
AnonymousGuestDear Bellamondo:
If your adult children do not need you, it may be that you did a good job as their mother. I learned that when children do not get what they need as children, they grow up to be adult children still needing the mother/ parents.
If so, congratulations for doing an excellent job as a mother!
What do you think of the quality of your mothering so far, do you think you deserve being congratulated for an excellent job?
anita
February 20, 2018 at 1:45 pm #193599BellamondoParticipantThank you for responding to my post. Mark, I am going to therapy now and it is helping. Anita I am very proud of my children and how they are in college creating a life for themselves. I just never imagined being single at this age. My ex and I talked and planned on doing so many things after the kids where grown and now all those dreams are gone. Yes, I can do them alone, but it’s not the same. I don’t miss him, but miss doing things with someone.
February 20, 2018 at 2:41 pm #193601
SamanthaParticipantHi Bellamondo,
I connect with you completely. I too have recently had a break up (1st Dec 2017, 3 months after the death of my mum). I now feel so alone and empty. I am not depressed, just anxious all the time. My 3 boys have all grown up and gone their own way (the spilt was not with their dad, I spilt from him years ago). I worry that I will end up sad and lonely now, at 49 it is hard to start from the beginning again. I want a happy ever after. I don’t want to find love again and start from the beginning and take years to learn each others likes and dislikes. I feel to old to do that now, and my body and mind is in a different place at this time of life -premenopausal ! My boys have their own lives now, 2 of them have children and 1 just lives his own life. I long to go back to the days when they were all at school and I had something to get up for every morning. I have no excitement anymore, Nothing to look forward to and no one to plan things with. I do hope it changes for the both of us, but I don’t know what to suggest to make this happen. Here’s hoping!! God bless
February 21, 2018 at 5:02 am #193687AnonymousGuestDear Bellamondo:
I know of a woman personally, a woman who at your exact age, 49, started a brand new life, life way better than what she had before. It is possible for you too, to have a good life ahead. Your life will not be what you thought it would be, not what was planned, but a wonderful life nonetheless is possible for you.
You don’t have to do things alone, you can connect, carefully and wisely date, get to know a few men, choose one to do things with. It is possible that in a few months, in a year, or way less, you will be amazed by how well things turned out to be.
anita
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