May 8, 2020 at 8:33 pm #354094
That is really interesting so thank you for this new point of view… I feel like I need to say that I remember she did the best she “thought” she could to make me have a nice time in kindergarten, she always waited outside… and a lot of days she let me stay at home instead of going… but sometimes I just had to go because it was normal for any kid to go to kindergarten and it just felt like the right thing to do. As an adult now, I think avoiding kindergarten completely would’ve created even a major shock between me and the outside world, especially when the first day of elementary school would’ve come. Therefore I can’t see her as an enemy that forced me to cry in pain and without listening to my cry, she was listening, but I guess she was also trying to do the right thing, or as you said, what other people might have told her the right thing was…
With that being said, I absolutely am ready to also invest energy to consider a point of view of a mother that didn’t do the right thing… and of a mother that could’ve done better.
What is the first step of an emotional learning journey?May 9, 2020 at 9:29 am #354176
“What is the first step of an emotional learning journey?”- what hurts you now, what dissatisfies you now is the place to begin an emotional learning journey.
People who are content and feeling good don’t need to go on an emotional learning journey. After all what motivates all of us animals is to feel good.
You started your thread with expressing dissatisfaction with your current project and relationship even though that project was your dream project and the relationship is nothing to complain about, if I understand correctly. You mentioned depression, too many thoughts, and a soul that is getting lost, so there it is- the beginning of your journey, the first step being expressing the dissatisfaction and distress.
The reason I focus on people’s early life relationships with their parents is that those relationships are most powerful, more than any relationship later in life. Young children can’t see themselves as separate from the parent or parents in their young lives. The way a child views himself is according to what he sees in the mirror aka the parent. What he sees in the mirror is a combination of who the parent is and who he/ she is, the two images being inseparable, at first.
If the child and later on, the adult child does not see his parent accurately, he can’t see himself accurately (he keeps seeing a fused and confused image of himself and his parent)
Viewing one’s parents accurately, when that viewing is of a lesser perfect parent, causes a fear, a sense of danger, this is why adult children resist this part of the journey.
When you brought up the emotional learning journey earlier, I suggested that you lead the way. So.. take the lead today, or tomorrow, whenever you feel like it, start wherever you want to start, and we’ll take it from there.
May 9, 2020 at 4:51 pm #354212
- This reply was modified 3 weeks, 2 days ago by anita.
That makes sense, and it is an effective way, I can feel it.
I am going to take today, and maybe tomorrow, to meditate about it before we continue with the journey. I want to be mentally ready. I’ll write here when I am and thank you so much for introducing me to this method.
And by the way, I hope you are also doing well, and that your mind is in a nice place. You are helping me and a lot of people in this community everyday, so I also wanted to ask how are you doing. Let me know, I care.
Have a great day!May 9, 2020 at 5:31 pm #354216
Thank you, how kind and gracious of you to inquire about me and to add that you care! I am fine, thank you, having a lazy afternoon after a long walk by the ocean (a huge bay, as good as the ocean), beautiful scenery, people out and about by the water, on the park, jogging, biking, some with masks, many not.. looks almost like a normal day.
When I accompany you on your journey, I get to do my own journey, alongside yours. It is not that I am sacrificing my time and effort for you, I am benefiting from my time spent with you. So please focus here on you and your journey. I am looking forward to your next post whenever it will be.
anitaMay 9, 2020 at 5:52 pm #354220
Wow that sounds amazing. I love long walks by the ocean, the breeze, the salty air, it brings you back to life. I am glad you have the opportunity to do those walks. I was thinking of going to the desert one of these days. It’s always been one of my favorite sceneries… there is something about the silence in the desert, the sand, the plants, the rocks, the dry air, and the isolation, that has always made me feel at peace. It could be a nice place to do some meditation in a moment like this.
I’ll get back to you soon!
Enjoy your eveningMay 9, 2020 at 6:43 pm #354224
My last amazing-silence in the desert experience was not too far from you- San Diego’s East County desert area.
Before that, it was the Mojave desert around Las Vegas, particularly Red Rock Canyon Conservation area, 15 miles west of Las Vegas.
Good evening and night, Al.
anitaMay 16, 2020 at 6:04 pm #355440
How are you, Al?