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My Spiritual State

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  • #109267
    Gigi
    Participant

    Apologies if these things have been posted already. I have been browsing these forums but I feel like getting my thoughts all together. Also I would love to start replying to others but I am working on my healing so perhaps in the near future. Anyway my dilemmas…

    I was raised Catholic, attended Sunday school and church, but it was never really discussed in my home. When I was a teenager I became more of a non denominational christian, attending youth group, young life, bible study. But it never really spoke to me the way it did to others around me. My friends would discuss God in conversations but live a party lifestyle and it seemed so hypocritical. A lot of people even got busted for having sex and drinking alcohol at young life camp!
    As I became an adult I have remained out of churches except for an occasional Christmas service. I kept telling myself I want to start going but I never followed through. I have been trying to feel some sort of connection with my faith and I never can. I don’t understand how so many people feel this so deeply and I cannot and I am a highly sensitive empath. Which led me to my confusion. I like the idea of calling myself spiritual or even somewhat Buddist but I haven’t done enough research for that. One question I have is what is considered the definition of spiritual? Does it mean that everything has a spirit? Or you believe in various gods or do you determine your own meaning?
    I watched a video recently about how our religions depend a lot on where we are born. If there is a God, how can he punish you for not being aware of the “correct” religion? Or if it was not possible to convert because of your culture? Then there are other times I am sure there is a god. When I see pictures of our planet, I wonder how this could all be an accident and still look beautiful. Even animals, why do they look so attractive most of the time?
    I just lost a friend to suicide and was debating the state of the human brain. Why are we so complex in our ability to think and have relationships, but the human life can be so fragile and taken away in an instant? Why are most of the ways we die a result of things we invented or things we did or other humans even? Also in my transition to veganism I keep hearing how humans don’t provide any benefits to the planet and how animals and plant life would prosper without humans. If this is true why would God put humans here in the first place? I guess there are no answers to my questions, and I can never truly know for sure.
    I just cannot stop kicking myself for having no real beliefs right now and being so skeptical. I am literally surrounded by people at work or in my circle who belive so strongly and I don’t know why I can’t fix this. Any advice? Sorry for the rambling also I am up very late with these thoughts on my mind.

    #109283
    Matty
    Participant

    Hi Gigi,

    One question I have is what is considered the definition of spiritual?

    I’m sure a quick google search could give you a definition. But, like most things in life ‘respect the fact, seek the truth’. There is nothing wrong with you coming up and defining ‘spirituality’ in your own words, for yourself. You don’t even need to call it spiritual, you could live your entire life not defining that aspect of your life. You don’t need to label yourself spiritual because you feel you lack faith that others around you have. In the end, faith and spirituality cross over more often than not. Faith really is about believing in something, whilst spirituality is about believing in something bigger than yourself (based on a google search, not my definition). Make a definition that suits you, not others.

    My friends would discuss God in conversations but live a party lifestyle and it seemed so hypocritical

    Well in a sense, maybe their view of God and their definition of religion/ faith is different. I mean, I feel the same way you do, one day these people can be at church, singing and praying, the next day they are doing tax fraud without any sense of the contradiction of what they believe and what they do. Hence, why I would say these people just have different values, they believe in someone/ something that is perfect, but have no interest in following suit. This could very well be their definition.

    I just cannot stop kicking myself for having no real beliefs right now and being so skeptical.

    It’s almost as if you are competing with others on who is the most religious 😉 I should like to note, that you don’t HAVE to believe in anything. Sure people will call you nihilist or some other word, but you don’t have to believe. In your case, it’s like you NEED to believe in order to justify your existence. You validate your existence, live by your own beliefs, the ones you construct. You can construct your own creed. Religion may have influenced and played a part in your life, but you do not need to be religious or spiritual to follow certain values that are expressed through these avenues. If I say “killing is wrong”, it doesn’t have to be connected to the 10 commandments, in most places, it’s the law. Is the law religious, or is it just a law? We all go through stages where we question things, you are at this point. Like a big question that we always ask is ‘what is the meaning of life?’. I have my own views, others have theirs. There is no single answer to this question, just your own interpretation. Your beliefs do not need to appease anyone else, just yourself. You probably do have beliefs, but they don’t necessarily have to revolve around religion, they can be beliefs because you believe in them. Also I wouldn’t state you are skeptical, i would state that you are a inquisitive person, someone who seeks answers to questions not for factual glory, but because it will make you whole. All your questions that you posed are things done by people who follow a religion and those that don’t. Everyone approaches these questions differently, logically because we are all unique in this regard.

    I hope this helps, if you want to say more, please continue this post 🙂
    MAtty

    • This reply was modified 7 years, 8 months ago by Matty.
    #109298
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear Gigi:

    You wrote: ” I have been trying to feel some sort of connection with my faith and I never can. I don’t understand how so many people feel this so deeply and I cannot and I am a highly sensitive empath. Which led me to my confusion.”

    I can help you with this confusion. I will attempt to help you with it:

    The fact that you have empathy is not congruent with having faith in a god that doesn’t.

    There is this fact: god, if he existed as indicated by the bibles, is not empathetic to the intense, prolonged suffering of millions of people, millions and millions of children who are suffering. Some people will tell you that they feel god’s empathy for them. But the millions and millions I mentioned, don’t feel god’s empathy because he is not helping them out of abusive households, violence, unspeakable pain.

    Some will tell you: but they are alive to tell about their childhood pain. Well, many are not alive: suicide, accidents, self destruction. And many who are alive, would prefer to not be alive if they had to go through the suffering again (I am one).

    So, as an empath, you have a difficulty believing in one who is not an empath to be a good person or a good god…

    anita

    #109316
    Gigi
    Participant

    Matty,
    Thank you, this does help a lot. I don’t have to compete or have a definition that suits other people. It’s just frustrating to have so many things in my life that feel isolating. It seems like everyone I know has some beliefs and will tell me to leave it in God’s hands and I often don’t know what to say back.

    Anita,
    I am at this point and I do agree. How do I get over this feeling of dread that there might not actually be anything? The feeling of nothingness after death? Or if a hell does exist but I choose not to believe ?

    #109330
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear Gigi:

    About fearing the Nothing after my death- it will be the same Nothing that was before my birth. The Nothing before I was conceived or born does not scare me; why would the Nothing after my death scare me?

    It is the image of my body dead that is very unpleasant to me, I am not understanding it very well, the dead me, a sure reality. Really, I ask no one in particular, really, I will die too?

    As far as hell, the idea that because you choose to not believe in hell you will be punished with hell: It is not LOGICAL to believe in hell so how can I choose to defy logic? I can choose in accordance with my logic; not against it. For example: I can’t choose to believe in jumping off a building and NOT falling down because it doesn’t make sense to ignore gravity. And so, I can’t choose to believe in hell and in a … “loving” god that will send me there after putting me through enough hell in this life.

    I sure hope you feel better about this, Gigi. I was not introduced to the biblical hell concept when I was a child, when my brain was forming. I am sorry that you were and so this particular thing may be harder for you than for me…

    anita

    #109713
    Authorgirl
    Participant

    God is always good : )

    #109718
    Authorgirl
    Participant

    Also Joel Osteen is a great pastor to listen to : )

    #110584
    Tannhauser
    Blocked

    Gigi, we are all spirits wearing overcoats.

    There is a ‘magic’ out there, and it is very big. My spiritual experiences have shown quite clearly that ‘The Source’, commonly known as God/Holy Spirit/Great Spirit is too big to be bound by one religion. The experiences started out as a ‘mental vision’ of Christ, then pointers or signposts were given alluding to Bacchus/Dionysus, then Odin (kept ‘popping up’ on Wednesdays) and Freya (‘The Lady’/’Our Lady’) Goddess Kali and Shiva/Krishna and then Neptune and Vesta, the fleur-de-lys and the trident. I discovered that the latter is associated with God/The Trinity, and is shared and revered by the ancient Roman religion, Hinduism and Buddhism alike. I also had a dream in which I was holding the Torah. I get the very strong feeling that ‘The Source’ does not like me retreating too far into my own faith (Catholicism) but prefers me to remain open-minded and open-hearted. All these spiritual figures are the same God.

    I believe God has a very good sense of humour, and because I am a musician, He often tries to communicate by putting songs in my head! But there are no orders or commands. In fact, it is very difficult to get anything out of Him in that respect.

    ‘Many rivers, one ocean’, as I believe the Chinese saying goes.

    Best wishes.

    #115699
    Tannhauser
    Blocked

    Ignore the above post. I was talking complete bullshit.

    Best wishes.

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