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My straight boyfriend's gay best friend- what's going on?

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  • #409390
    anita
    Participant

    Dear Rhonda:

    You are welcome and thank you for your short, gracious post. The way I finally learned (still learning) to make better choices in life is to see reality the way it is–  not the way I wish it to be,  and not in any way that it is not.

    Let’s look, as an example, at the title of this thread: “My straight boyfriend’s gay best friend– what’s going on?“- in your case, what is reality: is B really straight? No, is my answer, based on all that you shared. Is E a friend (or a best friend) to B? No, is  my answer. E appears like a friend at times, but.. he is not. He appears like a father figure to B (“My boyfriend said he’s like a father figure”), and at times he appeared like a grandfather-type to you (“I was trying to look at him as a grandpa figure. My son lost all his grandparents”), but in reality, he is not a father figure and he is not a grandfather type.

    How do I know? Because “E is shallow and wants them young and hot… very creepy and makes me cringe“- neither a father figure nor a grandfather type can possibly be a 73 year old man who sexually desires men just out of their teenage years, including a very young man, barely 20 (B) who looked up to him as a father figure.

    anita

    #409427
    anita
    Participant

    Dear Rhonda:

    Something new occurred to me in regard to this: “My boyfriend also has a daughter born in Arizona he’s about to get custody of, and I worry he’s faking everything with me to use me like he used a lot of other people…  In December the court approves of or denies whether he will get her or not…  his daughter is special needs.. She’s currently 7 months old and can’t crawl because of her issues”-

    – his motive to get custody of his 7-months-old disabled daughter may be the SSI (Supplementary Security Income) monthly payments that she will be eligible for if he has custody of her, for the duration of more than 17 years, monthly payments that he will be in charge of. Plus he may be eligible to be paid monthly as his daughter’s caretaker (even if you are the one taking care of her),paid by SSI, or by another State Program.

    anita

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