fbpx
Menu

need a change of work search strategy perhaps? please help

HomeForumsWorkneed a change of work search strategy perhaps? please help

New Reply
Viewing 15 posts - 1 through 15 (of 19 total)
  • Author
    Posts
  • #113581
    tinysparkofhope
    Participant

    hi guys, I am really really confused by life and especially by the law of attraction and practicing daily gratitude

    Sorry if this seems like I am complaining a lot but I am just so lost.

    I first came into practicing daily gratitude because I was deeply unhappy at work. Everyone seems to pass me their work tasks or blame me for every short coming. I was a secretary in a huge worldwide firm and I noticed a few secretaries making up lies about me about being incompetent in my job and not well liked by the bosses (I really not sure why, as I was quiet, friendly and always did my work well and would help others if needed. I wasn’t unsociable and had a couple of really great friends whom I am still friends with today). Instead, I shrugged it off and thought that other people’s behaviours starts with me, and so started to keep a gratitude diary and to see the best in everyone. Thanks for the job, other people are not as lucky. Thanks for the nice people that I do see at work everyday. Thanks for the appreciated pay packet at the end of the month etc… I would write more if the day seems practically bad. A year down the line, I was made redundant while the others who were gossiping behind my back and complained non-stop about the work (ironic, cos they didn’t do any!) gets to stay. Five years later, I still haven’t found a job that would pay me the same amount or even 30% less. Believe me I have done it all,

    Practicing the Laws of Attraction, concentrating on good feelings and vibrations and forgiving and letting go of the past.
    Clearing my chakras (spending a few hundred dollars on this and learning how to balance them everyday),
    Enrolled and attended various self help courses on how to get what I want in life (another few hundred),
    Carrying on writing in my gratitude diary and to actively notice my blessings by looking at websites like TinyBuddha for positivity.
    Did a major upheaval and cleared everything in my house, making my home as minimal as possible.
    Numerology ( this was confusing but at least it was free and I tried it out)
    Investing in the stock market (lets just say, it was better off staying in my bank account!)
    Feng shui my place two years ago,
    Briefly had a career coach (it wasn’t very good. Learnt nothing new – money wasted there too!)
    Working with crystals,
    Mediate for 15 mins (pure silence) every day for the past 3 years and continuing;
    Practicing EFT (actually this is a very good for short term stress release);
    Letting go and doing absolutely nothing (the infamous F@@K it therapy. This is ok but I still need a job, so long term its not going to be useful to me unless I plan to live off coconuts and live free on a beach for the rest of my life).
    Exercising for 45 mins every day and;
    lastly in case you are wondering, YES I have applied for jobs every single day (if it was possible). I have learnt new skills and updated existing ones too which I think would help me in the future. I have been to see numerous agencies and read up on a bookshelf worth of CV formatting, interviews techniques and job hunting and self help books. Several of my friends have very kindly rewrote my CVs and went through my image and interviewing techniques and several has hired me for work on a temporary basis (albeit at minimal wage, but I am still grateful).

    It has now been over a year since I last had any kind of job, and I even applied for job positions that was paying 200% less than my last full time job and was rejected because they think I am overqualified even after me telling them that they are doing me more of a favour by letting me work there so that I can gain invaluable experience.

    The only thing I haven’t done yet is volunteer, because the organization I wanted to help out would like someone who is able to commit full time, and me, being the optimist, always thought that I would get hired very soon. Very soon never came.

    I am also nearly 50 so ideally do not want a low salary job, these last 4 years has really ate away very rapidly into my savings. Another blow is that in my country we cannot claim for unemployment support unless you can prove you have no savings at all. I know I should consider self employment but to be honest, it never appealed to me and I haven’t got the slightest idea to be self employed in what?

    I am still grateful for a lot of things in my life, I got a rented roof over my head still (for now), I am down to my last amount of savings, but still it is my money and I got great friends and no children to look after. I do however have elderly parents to look after and provide financial support to. I am the only child and I guess I have been a big disappointment since I have a college degree too! Job interviews are getting harder as potential employers sees such a long time out of work as a disadvantage and always question me on that. Everyone is shocked that I am still not working, especially since my country’s unemployment rate at 3.4%, is not a big problem.

    I am really frustrated, more so by the power of gratitude, I see people moaning and moaning about their jobs and their bosses and they would get promotions and bigger pay checks. They would bombard me with their complaints and we would go into some sort of a disagreement because I try to encourage them to see how lucky they are (of course without me referring to the current lack in my life). I don’t understand it at all. Can anyone tell me if they had luck with the life changes, which I tried above? Especially the laws of attraction and gratitude and also chakra clearing? (I am still doing this daily but am not sure if there are benefits to this at all). If so, what am I doing wrong? For now, I feel like that being unkind and lazy and a moaner will get you what in life!

    You can’t say it is because of a lack of patience as I have been doing them for over 2 years at least. I haven’t given up yet but am frustrated by the lack of noticeable improvement and tired of budgeting for every meal as best as I could and watching my hard earned savings shrinking day by day. I cant go out with my friends to do fun stuff and so take advantage of asking them to go on long walks in the parks, swim at the beach, meet at the library etc but I can feel that they are bored of the same old stuff these last few years. I don’t like complaining and have rarely have a good whine about it but lately and especially after my last birthday, I feel like a fool for wasting so much money on self-improvement which I afford. Do I control destiny and go and get what what I want in life or leave it to the stars? If can manifest money in any way that would be great, but i know that my biggest chances of financial abundance is through having a job, and i can’t even manage that. I can’t leave the country because my parents are old. I feel like I have many many things yet to learn, so any insight would be greatly appreciated! Thanks.

    #113583
    VJ
    Participant

    Dear tinysparkofhope,

    I have gone through your post. Would you please take some time out and provide your response to the below so that I could suggest you something in the right direction.

    1) What is your definition or understanding of the Law of Attraction?
    Please elaborate as much as possible.

    2) Right from starting the job search till today – What are the underlying emotions you are having?
    Below are few examples I can help you start with-

    frustration
    tension
    worry
    nervousness
    a lacking feeling of not having more
    a wanting feeling because of the lacking feeling
    Shame
    Guilt
    Desire (in a craving way)
    Grief
    Fear
    Anger
    Pride (in a demanding way)
    Comparison of your life situation with others
    When people complained you about their lives, were you taking on their feelings onto you? Think closely for a while.

    Remove whatever is not applicable to you from the above list and add more. But make sure these are not necessarily only your current feelings. They should be listed from the time you have been trying for your desired job. To know the in-depth meaning of a word above, you can use the google search term as “define shame” which will show you Google’s dictionary meaning in an understandable way such as “a regrettable or unfortunate situation or action” which will then be easy for you to relate.

    3) What kind of profession do you like?

    4) What is that you think you will able to do which will serve other humans in some way or the other? Anything for the benefit of others? List down only non-professional work as opposed to point no 3. Think and try to list down multiple items. You can even list down certain things that you will be able to do after making certain adjustments.

    5) What things of you bother others or yourself?
    I procrastinate (or keep delaying things) and my wife doesn’t like it.
    I keep things in a messy way
    I am late most of the time
    I am not organized

    6) Identify and list if you are doing (or earlier did) anything incorrect? If you are uncomfortable about this then you can ignore it.
    Just Examples:
    I haven’t paid my friend back XX amount
    I skipped paying a few cents at that grocery store
    I am delaying to do this XXX

    7) What are things you mentioned in your post as “I feel like I have many many things yet to learn”

    8) List down all of techniques and retreats you have done so far. Don’t worry whether I will understand them or not. I have earlier undergone the techniques you mentioned, or at least read and understood them and so will be able to relate to your situation.

    Below is a List to begin with..please add

    EFT
    Chakra healing
    Practicing using the daily gratitude journal
    Letting Go – Was this the Release Technique Or the Sedona method you did?
    Numerology
    Working with crystals
    Feng Shui
    Career coach
    Meditation for 15 mins
    Provide a list of any other self help courses attended

    9) Daily Gratitude exercises
    On all the Thanks statements you mentioned in the post, be truthful to yourself and tell whether they were said simply involuntarily or were you really thankful and grateful for all those things? Meaning – When you did the gratitude exercises was there that genuine “feeling” of thankfulness in your heart similar to when somebody did something for you and you said “Thank you” to them?
    Was it the same level of feeling of gratitude equivalent to the grateful things you have mentioned as below?-
    “I am still grateful for a lot of things in my life, I got a rented roof over my head still, I got great friends”

    While writing a response to the above things itself, a deeper understanding on certain things will arise. Do not ignore paying attention to those.

    Do elaborate as much as possible.

    Also, people on this forum are ‘here’ to ‘hear’ you.

    #113614
    tinysparkofhope
    Participant

    Hi VJ

    Thank you so so much for taking the time to reply to my posting!! I will try to do the best to answer your questions and using your numbering system.

    1. My understanding of the law of attraction is you attract what you feel. so if you are happy for example, you attract other happy situations into your life. likewise if i want to use the law of attraction to attract a job, i would have to declare this to the universe and believe that it is possible for me providing i do the work too and not merely wishing it. From all the books I have read, I really really believed it was an universal truth that the law of attraction happens whether you are actively involved or not. Now I am not so sure.

    2. the emotions i am feeling, most of all is being ignored, being old and unwanted, hopelessness, unfairness, unlucky, fear that I will never work again and live in poverty and shame especially compared to others who are able to find a job reasonably quickly. When people complain about their work lives, I want to switch off because I think they are unnecessarily ungrateful. I am forever their cheerleader telling them that life is ok really and that it could be worse. what feelings i am taking from this? I feel sometimes that it isn’t fair that they get to display such negativity and still attract such a great outcome. I practiced gratitude and lost my job.

    3) I have always been an administrator/secretary so I don’t mind sticking to the same job especially since i am not young and cannot afford to start over again. i did however tried to find jobs as a writer, just to see if I can change fields but my applications have been ignored.

    4) I think, non-work related strengths wise, i am a good friend, i cheer people up when they are down and would help friends out in a heart beat. Also I suppose, I can make people laugh. I am good with planning stuff and researching places to go for family and friends.

    5) I am bothered that i am wasting money on self- improvement all the time and am a sucker for believing their claims. Another bad point is I supposed I get really disappointed if I tried some strategy to the t and results do not happen. I am also stupidity influenced if someone say something bad about me, or as in a tarot card reading and fortune tellers, I know it’s silly but I can’t help it. I tend to feel envy when people are doing so well in life and I think they are wondering what has happened to me. Why don’t people like me enough to hire me for any job?

    6) I could be a better daughter and stop spending money on non essential stuff like iTunes and stop worrying about how others view me as a failure.

    7) I guess there are, I don’t think i have learnt everything i need to know about life – it is never-ending. I must be doing something wrong if I cant get the results I want.

    8) looking at the list is embarrassing as it shows how hard i am trying! i hope i don’t get pulled in with promises of yet another life changing course! Aside from EFT, chakra healing, gratttude diary, numerology, working with crystals, feng shui, career coach, daily mediation I have also tried the havening technique For Letting go of the past ( very good btw) using several hypnotising CDs, doing tai chi three times a week and am currently reading about ACT. Courses which I have been on includes Lucky Bitch Boot Camp online and some other empowering women to take control of their finances thing.

    9) I read a lot of history and truthfully i am grateful for me in the now compared to what people had in the past and thankful my problems do not include living through wars and famine. When thanking my friends i am truly grateful because they don’t have to help me but they do, so it is genuine. I always find something to be truly thankful for because I have been practicing it for more than 5 years now. It is just sometimes I feel overwhelmed at constantly hitting myself metaphorically against a brick wall.

    Thank you for asking me these questions, I hope I have answered them properly and look forward to your insight and ideas.

    #113616
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear tinysparkofhope:

    I am suggesting you look more closely into the reality of what happened in your last well paying job, before you lost that job. I suggest examining reality more than you have so far before trying to fix it.

    This is what you wrote about the reality of your job five years ago, I believe: ” I was deeply unhappy at work. Everyone seems to pass me their work tasks or blame me for every short coming.”

    You were “deeply unhappy” at work. Everyone (every single co worker) seemed to pass their work to you and blame you for shortcomings?

    You wrote about trying to figure out why this was so, why co workers didn’t like you: “I noticed a few secretaries making up lies about me about being incompetent in my job and not well liked by the bosses (I really not sure why, as I was quiet, friendly…”

    It’s been years ago and you still don’t know why. The self help and other methods you tried were about Fixing-It but none of the methods lead you to insight about what happened at the workplace.

    If you’d like, do examine it more, go back and try to remember what your co workers said, how they behaved… share here, if you so choose: maybe there is something I can see and suggest for you to look more into.

    anita

    #113694
    tinysparkofhope
    Participant

    Hi Anita

    Thanks you very much for your reply. I spent 2 years after losing that job in a sort of a depressive state about why i was made redundant and not others. I did look closer like you said and had spoken with several friends on this and ex workers on this and they helped me realized it was just a power struggle thing in a huge huge company (it was so big that i never got to the know the other few hundreds that were working there also). One has to look weaker in order for others to shine. One of the other lazy secretaries would email me every other monday to take sick leave off due to headache, tummy ache, tooth ache etc, (i kid you not) and ask me to cover. It happened that one monday, I was sick and could not cover for her. All i know she was called into one of the partners office and got told off for something. After that, people would pass me loads of their work to do, it would take me to 11pm at night to finish while they all left at 6pm. It was our company’s policy to help others out if they can’t handle the work load, i was given their work because of excuses like bad headache, feeling sick at work, pick kids up from school etc. a colleague told me she wanted me to know that someone was spreading rumors that i can’t do my job properly. It was like high school. if one doesn’t like you, they made sure others didn’t! I am amazed that the bosses choose to believe them too! what can i do? so i kept low and did my job thinking that i must have manifested all this bad ill against me. The friends i did have at work were quiet and hardworking too. they were understanding but rather not get into it. My unhappiness more so, is when one by one they left the firm, due to the ill working environment they felt too but I choose to stick it out and not quit. I asked my superiors the day i was let go, why me? they assured me i was an excellent hardworking secretary and it was just bad luck because they had to make cuts and it was nothing personal. The self help books i have read and devoured over the next few years assured me it is ok in life not to be liked by everyone and i have made peace with that. I am really not comfortable speaking ill of them now, as i don’t want to relive the past – its the past it is over. I am looking forward to the future but as i mentioned in my original posting, i am really not sure what is blocking me. Thank you for your probing question, it did make me think, now i realized i have been too weak in the past and not practicing self love because i was doing all i can to get everyone’s approval of me. maybe you can shred more light on this based on the above and how to move forward? The other thing i can say is the other secretaries are very sociable and would go out with the bosses for drinks most nights. I have tried to fit in several times but feel like they talk about things between themselves and leaving me out. Usually in the end me and my friends felt better leaving for another venue. many thank Anita.

    #113697
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear tinysparkofhope:

    I am afraid I am quite lost in trying to understand what happened. I still want to understand though. I will be typing-as-I-think: it was a huge company, this means random things happen, things that don’t make sense as they would in a small, organized company. Downsizing is business as usual in big companies.

    You did a lot of work for co workers who took advantage of the fact that they could excuse themselves and give you the work to do. Why would they turn against you then. If you did their work again and again, seems to me they would want you to stay and not spread a rumor that you are not doing a good job.

    There is something you missed in the dynamic there: maybe you were too busy working till 11 pm, doing their job that you missed something significant? Maybe you were so tired from overwork that your work suffered? I don’t know.

    I understand high school like cliques. But again, if you did others’ work, it seems to me that those others would be interested in not jeopardizing your position with the boss/es.

    I wonder: weren’t you resentful, doing others’ work till late at night while they went home early? Did you confront those co workers? Did you expressed your (understandable) anger at being used to anyone at the company?

    Will be back at the computer tomorrow morning (in ten hours or so). If there is anything you can clarify for me about my thoughts here, or add, please do.

    anita

    #113701
    tinysparkofhope
    Participant

    Hi Anita,

    Yes I was resentful but did nothing! That is what I regret as I said before, not standing up for myself, my friends at work told me to resign many times and not to put up with it. In A large company if you put in a complaint about anything or anyone, you are as good as gone. They will see you as the problem who is difficult to work with. I know I seem it happen to other staff members, once they have voiced up something negative, they have been dismissed, citing cutting costs reasons. When I left, this shocked them too as they didn’t think it would happen they did want me to stay! I had texts coming from them saying they missed me cos they are overload with work! How funny is that! So I guess they did what what they did because they never thought I would be let go. No one is going to thank you for doing their work. They just grumbled about their work load instead and how tired they are. I want to point out, I am not the only victim, my friends were treated like this too loaded with work by the more popular (but lazy) colleagues ( all best buds btw also not in my favour is that one of which is related to a senior partner) Management don’t care too many departments to handle. My post is hardly the end of the world to the organisation. I leave, many more can refill my role. A lot of egos at work. Like I said its high school all over again, make sure your friends are looked after.

    #113706
    VJ
    Participant

    Hi tinysparkofhope,

    Thanks for providing a detailed response.

    Continuing with the same numbering system

    1) You do have quite a good amount of understanding of the Law of Attraction.

    Every spiritual teacher or master teaches it differently and it gets confusing.

    Yes, practicing the Law of attraction got me very frustrated, just like you.

    Yes LOA happens all the time. But the main thing is in the following and practicing (more below). Its a universal law governing the universe. Just like the law of gravity if a ball is tossed up in the air it has to come down.

    2)

    “being ignored, being old and unwanted, hopelessness, unfairness, unlucky, fear that I will never work again and live in poverty and shame especially compared to others who are able to find a job reasonably quickly, people would pass me loads of their work to do, it would take me to 11pm at night to finish while they all left at 6pm, i was given their work” – hard to say No

    “I am forever their cheerleader” – people pleasing
    “I get really disappointed if I tried some strategy to the t and results do not happen”
    “tend to feel envy when people are doing so well in life” – jealousy
    “I feel sometimes that it isn’t fair that they get to display such negativity and still attract such a great outcome.”
    “I think they are unnecessarily ungrateful.”

    – It is not they who are ungrateful, but if you look closely it is you who are feeling the ungratefulness towards them.
    “so i kept low and did my job thinking that i must have manifested all this bad ill against me.” – keeping yourself low
    “not practicing self love” – Look where ‘Love’ is on the below link when you get there
    “i was doing all i can to get everyone’s approval of me” – wanting approval

    https://postimg.org/image/runaangcp/
    (If the image disappears from the link then do reply back)

    Take a look at the attached Hawkins Scale of Consciousness. I’m sure you’ll relate as to what is the frequency of vibrations you may be emitting. I do not want to dwell much on all these as you are already aware that these are not so good feelings and I want to head straight to an actual “action point” for you (more below).

    “I feel sometimes that it isn’t fair that they get to display such negativity and still attract such a great outcome.”

    It could also be that they complained about things by speaking out and thus unknowingly/unconsciously RELEASED all their negativity and so attracted favourable situations in life.
    They may (or may not be) at a different situation at a later stage of their lives, but that is their karma and this is yours. So don’t bother much about them and leave them to what the Universe has to offer them.

    3) Yes I can truly understand that it is not possible to start afresh again.

    6)7) You are not doing anything wrong. You’re simply being human.

    4)8) “i am a good friend, i cheer people up when they are down and would help friends out in a heart beat. Also I suppose, I can make people laugh.”

    “I am good with planning stuff and researching places to go for family and friends.”

    From this I think that you can be of great benefit to others.
    More of these quality of yours referred below.

    Now for the action point-
    5) You need not spend any more on anything directed towards the self now, but something to start projecting them outwards.

    One of the universal laws is the Law of Opposites and it works in conjunction with the LOA.
    It states that no sooner will you call something into your reality than its exact opposite will also appear.
    Meaning – the moment you chose anything, any outcome, or experience – the exact opposite of that will come into your life in some way.
    It will show up in some way because it is necessary for the opposite to appear in order to create what you want. Life cannot be simply experienced out of nothing. There needs to be a context in which you can experience what you want.

    This can be explained with a simple example:
    If you want to experience Light then there needs to be Darkness. Can you see light when there is already light everywhere? You wouldn’t know what is light unless you saw darkness. Only when there is an opposite context field (darkness in a room), then you will experience Light (when it’s switched On), else everything is the same everywhere.

    Speaking in real life, if you start to see the “oppositions” (a context field) of your life as opportunities to bring what you want, only then you will fully experience the positive outcomes that you wish.

    We’ll not get much into it since I’m sure you may want to know of what to do next to get exactly what I desire in life.
    (I’m aware you do not want to spend anymore, and rightly so, but just in case if further interested then you can explore Neal Donald Walsch’s ‘Conversations with God’, ‘Happier than God’, etc.)

    Mechanism of Manifestation:
    If you understand collective consciousness then note that you are not alone in this world. There are lives of other people also involved in what we do.

    The Energy of Attraction is most effective when used for the purpose for which it was intended. (Another reason why LOA seems to be ineffective/disheartening because it is not used by people for the purpose for which it was intended)
    What is that purpose? To create a happy, peaceful, joyous life for everyone whose life you touch, and for you, in that order. The last three words is the key. This could be done in several ways and in whatever way you choose.

    In helping others, we shall help ourselves, for whatever good we give out completes the circle and comes back to us – Flora Edwards

    Help others achieve their dreams and you will achieve yours – Les Brown

    It is literally true that you can succeed best and quickest by helping others to succeed – Napolean Hill

    You can have anything in the world you want if you’ll just help enough other people get what they want – Zig Zaglar

    By focusing on others you multiply the amount of energy you emanate by the number of others with whom you do so. Give others every experience you wish to seek.
    The fastest way to have any experience is to cause others to have the same experience. Whatever you wish to experience in your own life, cause another to experience in theirs.
    If you wish to experience love, cause another to be loved.
    If you wish to experience abundance, cause another to be abundant.
    If you wish to experience success, cause another to be successful.
    If you wish to experience forgiveness, cause another to be forgiven.
    If you wish to experience peace, cause another to be at peace.

    And this can be done in innumerable ways depending on what you are good at and what you enjoy doing the most, but keeping in mind it is at first for the benefit of others.

    Since you now know several techniques and have spent so much, how about the possibility of starting a class or a study group for people having problems at least in a small way to begin with.

    Something like just posting a print-out at a suitable place near where you live that says – ‘Help yourself by healing yourself’, ‘Get rid of your unwanted thoughts, feelings and emotions, and gain back control of your life’…by using these XXX simple techniques, at a nominal charge. You can even put up on the bottom of the same page on giving Travel planning services.
    Or if you have a more inclination towards the Travel thing then you can do it vice-versa…Make the Travel line as your core by stating “Travel plans made easy!” giving all relevant details and on the same print-out mention at the bottom about the self help techniques classes. A set up (may be at a room in your home or only by phone) where people will just tell you their options like where they want to go (Domestic or International, a beach, or a hill station, or a wild life safari, an adventure package, 1 Day tour, or a weekend getaway) and what are they interested in (whether group tours or individual tours, or a honeymoon tour, or a corporate tour, or a senior citizen package, Solo, or a Family fun tour). Taking this data, your job will be to Research and Plan out their travel by giving them the quickest and best possible option(s) (since you said you are good at researching and planning things for people). Do this at a nominal charge in the beginning. Once again remember, while doing all this you are at your greatest best.

    Initially you can begin with close friends and relatives and then extend as it goes. Since people are going to come to you with problems they are already going to be feeling down. In the same class you can use your skills of cheering these people up and making them laugh. Note that when you are doing this you are putting up a frequency of genuine joy, to yourself and to others. When you are doing this you are not worrying about a job. Although you can keep applying to jobs at the same time, but in a detached way you should reach a stage like – It’s fine if I get a job. Even if I don’t get that’s OK too…Im enjoying here.
    This is why some releasing techniques teach us to release both good as well as bad feelings. You reach a state of bliss of no more longing to have anything because you feel that you already have all you need and that is where abundance starts to flow because you are emanating that.

    Why not make use of something for the benefit of others from i] what you have learnt all this while by spending so much and ii] from what you are good at?

    I know immediately a thought would occur as to how much you are going to earn by doing this? Is it going to be sufficient to fulfil my dreams and desires? Am I going to get customers? This is where our restricted mind will start to think all unwanted thoughts. For a change don’t take your thoughts too seriously.

    The Travel line of business and the classes/study group are just examples of what you can do. But I hope you are getting the point.

    Note that when you are actually doing all of this you are emitting up a frequency of genuine joy, happiness, cheerfulness and a state of bliss.
    And this is when the Law of Attraction comes into play.
    It is at this time things will start falling on your lap.
    On doing so you will start attracting the right people, situation, circumstances and events because you are emitting that high frequency.
    Either you will meet someone who could offer a job that you need, or someone in your class may have an acquaintance who has exactly what you need, or you receive a phone call from where you have applied for jobs earlier, or who knows you may want to continue with the travel/class itself as you are enjoying them….the list goes on and on and is endless.

    The Universe has infinite possibilities and we do not know now what will happen and how things will be manifested.

    Of course as humans it is not possible to be at those frequencies 100% percent of the time.
    At those low times, refer to the above chart of consciousness and see where you are and quickly bring yourself back on track, either by doing the self-help techniques that you are already aware of, or by getting busy with the travel/class which gives you joy and thus those lower states start to dissipate.

    9) If you are doing that genuinely then you may continue to do the Gratitude exercises as that is something you will continue to do irrespective of whether good or not so favourable situations are happening in your life. It could be very well that you are being returned to good things in life by you coming to this site.

    I hope it gives more clarity to you. When things start to get better in your life, which I’m sure will, please do share your progress.

    Also do remember to post your visiting card on this site so that I can be one of your customers who needs to plan his travel 🙂

    Lots of Love and Light.

    Take care.
    VJ

    • This reply was modified 7 years, 7 months ago by VJ.
    #113709
    Ankit Oberoi
    Participant

    I understand your problem, I speak with many top executives seeking a career coach. The reasons vary but there is one a common theme. Their confidence has taken a hit. This hit on their confidence may be from any number of experiences – a failed business, a falling out with management, a personal life event. Yet, it is hard to make a change for the better because this diminished confidence is hindering them from making their next move. It’s a vicious cycle.

    This particular post will help you regain the confidence required
    http://www.geteternal.com/posts/view/Career-Confidence-Taking-a-Hit-5-Tips-to-Improve-It

    #113711
    tinysparkofhope
    Participant

    Hi VJ

    I am truly very grateful for your input on all this. It look me quite a while to ponder what you have written and you did a great thing – got me excited about getting up and keep trying again. In fact getting it off my chest in the first place, not just to my dearest friends but to complete strangers online is a surprisingly emotionally releasing thing to do. I now am encouraged to pay it forward and help others and if i can, people on this Forum with what i have learnt (maybe all that money hasn’t been wasted, just because i cannot make them work for me, doesn’t meant it wouldn’t work for others). Thank you very much for your insight it is refreshing to hear about the law of attraction/law of opposition from another perspective and to realize,in deed the world is full of surprises and the challenges are never-ending but so are the rewards. Just hope i can keep the fear of poverty at bay, it is going to be hard but i will try.

    hope to keep you updated with progress!

    Thanks again for your long replies and time out to help me with this.

    #113712
    tinysparkofhope
    Participant

    Hi Ankitoberoi

    Thank you for your posting and the helpful link. i agree with you, my confidence was at an all time low and it took me quite a long long while to get it back after losing my job. I also think it is a gender thing, guys are more likely to bounce back with confidence quicker.

    #113728
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear tinysparkofhope:

    These are a few of the things you tried- persistently- so to improve your situation from the time before you got released from the high paying job (a year before) to the present:

    The Laws of Attraction
    Clearing your chakras
    Various self help courses
    Gratitude diary
    Numerology
    Feng shui
    Career coach (briefly)
    Crystals,
    Mediating
    Practicing EFT
    Exercising
    Learning new work related skills
    Applying to jobs, including low paying
    Hypnotism (CDs)
    Tai Chi

    There is something you didn’t try, as I see it: accepting the reality of that last job that ended five years ago: accepting the … negativity that you can do nothing about. That negativity, injustice was: a few people in the company had the power to give their work to others while being secure in their position because of their contacts, their power in the company. You didn’t have their connections, their power and so, you were expandable. You watched others taking advantage of you, felt understandably angry but decided to… get rid of your anger by starting a gratitude diary.

    A gratitude diary is fine, but not if it is a substitute to seeing and accepting reality. What I mean by it is that your anger, needed to address it. That anger needed attention- you had to find a way, at the time, to stand up for yourself.

    This is what you didn’t do: stand up to yourself. That was the valid message in your anger at the time. You wrote in one of your posts above: “I was resentful but did nothing! That is what I regret as I said before, not standing up for myself.”

    All the things you tried were in place of standing up for yourself.

    Exercise, tai chi, all those things you tried, they can’t take the place of being assertive.

    anita

    #113794
    VJ
    Participant

    Hi tinysparkofhope,

    Glad that the post helped you to gain clarity.

    “got me excited about getting up and keep trying again”
    This has already shot up your vibrational frequencies to higher states-
    Courage (200)
    Willingness, Optimism (310)

    “maybe all that money hasn’t been wasted, just because i cannot make them work for me, doesn’t meant it wouldn’t work for others”
    Yes the money is not wasted. It is not a coincidence that the Universe dragged you to do those courses. There is always a Higher Purpose going on around our lives and we come to know of it at a later stage. It will work for you when you work it out for others.

    “Just hope i can keep the fear of poverty at bay, it is going to be hard but i will try.”
    You are already equipped with several self-help techniques and they target the removal of fear.

    When you get to those low states, remember…..
    Danger is real, but Fear is not real.

    Fear is False Evidence Appearing Real. It is mind made.
    Recharge yourself by Feeling Excited And Ready

    Regards,
    VJ

    #113798
    tinysparkofhope
    Participant

    Dear Anita

    Thanks for your insight
    Maybe I am misunderstanding about your concept about still needing to accept is?
    As most, if not all self help books teaches acceptance and forgiveness above anything else. What I found to help me the most with accepting the situations was EFT and havening.

    So three years after the redundancy, I finally woke up to the freedom of feeling absolutely nothing with regards to my last job. unfairness or not and accepted what is. I only recalled what i felt in the past so that you could have a better understanding.

    My point is why am I finding it still so hard to get another job regardless of pay? I am practically stuck even after all my self improvement work and after all the balloon releasing, tears and self pity have dried up years ago.

    I really don’t know. I guess that i have to accept that too, maybe never get another job again and be ok with it and do what VJ and Eckhart Tolle suggested, embrace my freedom now and be happy with something i love doing in the now and let go of expectations.

    Assertiveness! yes i agree, i have been actively more incline to say no to people now (but not unkindly). I cannot change how i behaved in the past, but i can do now in the present.

    thanks again, i will be writing about this in my gratitude diary today too!

    #113832
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear tinysparkofhope:

    I will try to explain myself better, what I meant by seeing and accepting reality for what it is, for you:

    To see reality for what it is requires a willingness and ability to endure discomfort. All the efforts you made (the ones I listed in my last post to you) are efforts to FEEL better. Here is the reality that doesn’t feel good: injustice is real. Many people mistreat people. When you encountered injustice in the work place, as you have; when you were mistreated, you naturally got angry. What did you do next? You did everything you could to get rid of that anger, to cover it with feeling good. If you stayed with your anger and attended to it as a useful emotion, which carries a helpful message to you, then you may have done something assertive that maybe would have landed you in a better position at that job. And maybe there are ways for you to be assertive now: too late to change what happened, but maybe the old message still applies to your current life: being assertive.

    There are factors regarding your current unemployment that are out of your control: economy, resume with gaps, your age, and such. But maybe being assertive, now, can increase your chances to be hired.

    We all want to feel better, and all the things you tried, most are useful, in context. You wrote before that there is more for you to learn. Some of what there is to learn is to abandon things that don’t work for you, limit to context what did work, expand on what you didn’t try, finding opportunities to practice a new skill, such as evaluating people and situations realistically and deciding how to behave with different individuals considering who they are.

    The “universe” doesn’t give you credit for being a saint. The credit you seek, I believe, is in correct evaluation of people and situations and then proceeding according to your values AND the reality of people and situations.

    anita

Viewing 15 posts - 1 through 15 (of 19 total)

You must be logged in to reply to this topic. Please log in OR register.